Stuck in this endless meeting, the concentration takes off and we observe. A furtive exchange of glances between two colleagues. Bright, warm. A few days later, we meet them whispering in the cafeteria. He wouldn’t have changed his haircut? She would not have insisted on makeup? New meeting, sitting side by side. Normal, they are in the same team. Complicity is an asset in this company. Until this lunch when he tells me that they are a couple. Prolix like Patrick Bruel. “I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t expecting me. In that role…” I wasn’t expecting such confidences either. Exceeded the quietly guarded crush. Take back your manager’s outfit to make the big difference between the notion of private life and that of work where often, feelings must be left in the locker room. Not if we manage generation Z (15-27 years old): “They are constantly interconnected, everything goes together”, summarizes Elodie Gentina, doctor in management sciences and professor at the IESEG School of Management.
A rapidly growing quest for love at work
More than 1 in 2 French people think they can find love at the office compared to 42% a year ago (Qapa, Adecco digital solution February 2023). In addition, 55% have already fallen in love at work (53% in 2022), including 41% with a colleague and 39% with a service provider (32% in 2022). The flame is declared more and more during late meetings (43%) while the afterwork or the seminar are less popular (31% in 2023 against 42% in 2021). The respondents are 22-42 years old at 45%, 42-57 years old at 41%. This quest for love at work has been on the rise since 2021. It can be correlated with the stress of isolation during the health crisis (catch-up effect?) or the war in Ukraine, at the gates of the company in ” why prevent oneself from loving if the end of the world is for any hour?” This paradigm shift may also be linked to the entry into working life of members of Generation Z, digital natives interconnected on their networks who are no longer professional or personal, but both at the same time. First job, first attraction. “There is no longer a break between professional life and personal life, and young people are looking for the interweaving between these two spheres, analyzes Elodie Gentina, author of Generation Z: from Z consumers to Z employees (with Marie-Eve Delecluse, Dunot, 2018)”. In what she calls “archipelago enterprise” where 18-27 year olds work in tribal mode, couples are formed naturally, without the private/professional interaction posing any , apparently, worries. The manager must talk about it with the employees concerned. Play it down if the lovers are overwhelmed. Remind them of the rules of conduct so that the same vacation periods are granted to them and that disputes do not interfere with a file. Do points regularly until the time when it is no longer necessary.
I prefer that we remain… colleagues!
However, there is an opposite trend, the “colleague zone”. Neologism born in 2015 which means that at work, we stay on professional relations and nothing else. Neither birthday pot nor collective gift. Neither friendship nor love. This approach, which contradicts the analysis carried out by Qapa, is on the rise in the United States. Millions of American workers have changed jobs or moved away, leading them to say that friendships at work are a lower priority for them (Wall Street Journal, August 17, 2022). “After two years of the pandemic, some are taking steps to better balance work and personal life. This includes reducing social ties in the workplace.” 17% of those who practice hybrid working said they have a “best friend” at work, up from 22% in 2019; the proportion drops from 24% to 21% over the same period for those under 35 (Gallup, June 2022). Half of workers aged 18 to 25 said that friendships at work were “not important at all”, (Capterra/Gartner Digital Markets). Zoom, Teams and working from home make it difficult to build relationships and create desocialization. So, rather “colleague zone” or “archipelago company”? On both sides of the Atlantic, the manager must maintain the link between colleagues… but avoid at all costs succumbing to Cupid’s call, especially with a member of his team.