Harassment and its consequences

For a long time, harassment was minimized: the wrongs were divided between harassers and harassed, in defiance of all common sense, the harassers being generally quite numerous, faced with a harassed person who is alone. The one who is harassed tries to resist, he does not want to give in in front of students of his age, some of whom had been his friends not so long ago. But he feels like it was in a previous life, when everything was going well and there had cloud nowhere. He does not understand how this shift could have taken place without being able to foresee it. He finds himself in hell, he does not want to involve his powerless parents inside the school. He thinks that he will manage to endure this situation and that there will always be time to alert the adults if he cracks in gloriously. His entourage sees him sometimes sad, sometimes elsewhere and distracted. His results may be falling a bit, but they had been excellent so far, it must be a temporary drop, we are not going to put unnecessary pressure on him for a few points less. He sees his friends less and talks about them less too, but no one can imagine the horror he experiences on a daily basis. Some would think that this is a twist as it occurs in all groups and that the matter will be resolved within this group. In fact, it is rare for adults to get involved, as if they don’t know exactly how to intervene. If this harassment remains discreet in the presence of adults, it seems harmless, there is no need to worry about it. When, at last, the parents discover the extent of the tragedy experienced by their child, they take the appropriate measures and change the establishment. We hear that this child is doubly punished: he leaves his school, he has to go to an unknown place. He sees his weakness known to all, but he breathes better, he feels himself being brought back to life, he can rebuild himself, sometimes with the help of psychologists who allow him to come to terms with his image so seriously abused.

“The injured child retains traces that will not disappear”

Despite all these measures, the injured child retains traces that will not disappear. Once an adult, he does not want to wake up these old memories, he does not want to give him this diminished image of a weak being who could not defend himself. He does not want to be pitied, this is not how he wants to appear in the eyes of his friends, of his colleagues, and above all, of course, of the person who arouses a tender feeling. He knew how to forge a strong and dynamic personality: she resisted the multiple arrows that hurt him so much, but did not kill him. He understands those whom desperate exhaustion had overwhelmed. He doesn’t feel stronger than those who saw no other way out than to withdraw from the game because by becoming too cruel he had extinguished any glimmer of hope. He does not know where this strength that supported him came from or what luck it was that ultimately preserved him. He regained a taste for life, studied, chose a profession that suited him and where he found satisfaction, until his path crossed that of a pervert, as it is so prevalent in many companies, and it rocks again into a bottomless pit. This time, there is only one stalker, but it is a hierarchical superior who, like a good pervert, has detected a flaw and takes pleasure in rushing into it.

Often gifted bullied children

It seems that bullied children are more often gifted children : they annoyed a leader by their ease and grace. Their kindness makes them easy victims since they are devoid of any aggressiveness, especially gratuitous and externalized for the sole pleasure. Adults, they still carry deep within themselves this wound so quick to open again. The trace has never really disappeared, the scar is not closed so well, the impression of an eternal restart becomes suffocating and hopeless. Just like children who have suffered abuse of any kind keep an indelible mark, the one who has been harassed still retains images present in his memory and therefore quickly awakened. It is the intellectual gift that allowed the harassed child to draw from him unsuspected strengths to recover. He was able to change things and also regain a taste for life, but the feeling of having been betrayed by similar people, sometimes friends, leads to tiny reluctance, of which he himself is not aware. They are imperceptible cracks, all ready to reveal themselves if the circumstances are right. Gifted people represent dream prey for a pervert, if the ground is made more fragile, their destructive work becomes even more effective. The one who had been harassed again hears the reproaches that some addressed to him: he himself was partly responsible for this situation, it was he who had provoked his comrades, without his realizing very clearly how he had been able to provoke them, since it is not in his nature to seek a fight and even less to want to demonstrate any superiority. And, however, he is not so surprised by this perpetual restart: he feels a flaw in himself that makes him subtly different from others. These would be the reasons leading to this flaw that could be considered provocation. Thus, pursuing rigorous logical reasoning further and without going astray highlights the uncertainties of others, and even more directly their limits. This single example illustrates what can be taken as a provocation. It is easy to see how desperate this feeling can be of plunging back into a hell that we thought we had left far behind and from which we thought we had escaped forever. The old images make a comeback, posing a threat to his very life.