One of the biggest changes caused by my cancer was dietary. Looking back, I realize that stopping sugar when illness entered my life is just the tip of the iceberg. The rest of my habits evolved more gradually, although my goal has always been the same: to try to give my body what it needs, without giving up the pleasure of eating. It may seem simple. It’s not when a chronic tendency toward compulsions makes you prefer French fries to spinach.
I changed my relationship with vegetables. I was already eating it every day, but when my micronutritionist told me that she recommended a portion of 200 to 250 grams for lunch and dinner, I was surprised to see that I was far from the account. I doubled the doses, balance to support. It increased my feeling of fullness so much that I took a liking to it. I can’t believe it myself: after saying for years that I didn’t like broccoli, now I eat it one day in three! The fact of digesting them well and adorning them with protective virtues – the fear of recurrence remains unaltered – is not for nothing in this turnaround.
On the other hand, I don’t put any pressure on myself to cook them. I understood that it wasn’t my thing. I start cooking on Sundays because I have time and I listen to podcasts at the same time, but the rest of the week, I know the sections of Picard by heart. After three years of hesitation, I still gave in to the call of Vitaliseur last month. I was tired of my Ikea steam basket. I finally invested in this luxury steamer – 259 euros for the family model – to cook green beans from the market and Gustave applesauce at 95 degrees, a gentle heat which is supposed to preserve the nutrients. I was told that it also preserved the flavors. Honestly, I don’t see the difference with my old utensils, but the object is so beautiful that I don’t regret this “good conscience” acquisition.
In the morning, adopting the Miam-Ô-Fruit simplified my breakfast. This is a cult recipe from well-being guru France Guillain, a variation of Budwig cream from doctor and dietitian Catherine Kousmine. In a bowl, mix half a crushed banana, two tablespoons of rapeseed oil, the juice of half a lemon, three tablespoons of ground seeds (flax, sesame and others) and a piece of fruit cut into pieces. It’s delicious and it’s good for the body – I still eat ham, sardines or an egg too. It requires ten minutes of preparation, which has the immense advantage of discouraging me from having to use two more in the afternoon – the classic move of all my previous breakfast foods.
Step by step, with patience, method and determination, I examine each element that is stuck in my diet. In addition to sugar, I ended up stopping bread and fried foods, which degenerated into attacks and triggered severe stomach aches. I didn’t get there the first time. Like a smoker addicted to nicotine, I tried it several times. Maybe I’ll dive again. It doesn’t matter: I note that the breakdowns are becoming more frequent, losing intensity and are composed of less harmful foods than in the past. Depending on the season, I indulge in orgies of watermelon, muscat, and clementines. In the event of a more severe crisis, I have replaced the buttered Campagrain toast with gnocchi, which I eat cold, straight from the bag. I enjoy swallowing them like chips, except that the Yuka app finds them “excellent” and my stomach tolerates them better than Curly.
All this didn’t make me lose weight. I gained back the weight I lost during my treatments. My hormone therapy may be playing a role – according to my gynecologist, the menopause caused by these medications sometimes makes you gain weight. Often, a little inner voice whispers to me that I would be better off with two kilos less. I’m learning not to listen to him anymore. I aim for appeasement, not thinness. Body scanning – the act of trying, during meditation, to feel each part of the body in turn – helps me connect to my body. Reading the book Learn to eat again, by Jan Chozen Bays (ed. Les Arènes), allowed me to better distinguish the seven kinds of hunger: eyes, nose, mouth, stomach, cells, mind and heart . I concentrate on that of the cells and look less and less on my plate for what food cannot give me.
On Instagram, many of you ask me how I cope with such a strict diet away from home. When I am invited, I refuse any sweet dessert but eat the rest, just to limit misunderstandings. In restaurants, I especially check that the dish I order does not contain milk – I have not tolerated lactose for several years. But I am often frustrated: there are never enough vegetables, and fruit for dessert is rare. I have never been so happy to have dinner at home.
This week in my fashion column, I come back to my favorite for the latest Celine fashion show by Hedi Slimane.
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