Felicia Gustavsson, 22, Elvira Olsson Sterky, 21, and Lola Duel Woody22, have all lost their mothers to suicide.
Now Christmas is just around the corner, a time that for many means joy, togetherness and time with the family. But for Elvira and Lola, Christmas is mostly a difficult period. And for Felizia, Christmas 2023 will be the first without her mother.
Lola was 12 years old when her mother committed suicide
In 2013, Lola’s mother died by suicide, when Lola was only 12 years old. At first she did not dare to tell anyone about her mother’s passing. But when Elvira’s mother later died by suicide in 2018, it was the first time that Lola dared to tell someone outside about her mother’s passing.
– The fact that we had each other to talk to has been incredibly significant. It has made it possible for us to be so open about the subject today. Over the years, the enormous taboo and stigma surrounding suicide as a subject has become clear to us. To this day, many people around us feel uncomfortable when our mothers’ passing is talked about, Elvira Olsson Sterky and Lola Duell Woody tell News24.
The friends’ mothers share the same tragic fate
In 2023, the friend Felizia also lost her mother to suicide.
– We are three young girls, best friends, whose mothers share exactly the same tragic fate. That’s three mothers too many. We also realized that a large part of our processing of the grief happened thanks to each other, Elvira Olsson Sterky, Lola Duell Woody and Felizia Gustavsson tell Nyheter24.
MORS must break the stigma surrounding suicide
Now the friends have started the jewelry brand “MOTHER”, to create something that they felt was missing when they lost their mothers.
The hope is that MORS will be able to help other survivors and break the taboos and stigma around suicide and mental health in general.
– By sharing our stories, we hope that more people will dare to speak openly. We also want to increase knowledge about the subject. This is so that fewer people feel alone. You are never alone, the friends tell Nyheter24 and continue:
– Create meaning out of the “ugly” and heavy. Somewhere it also feels like through MORS we get to be there for our mothers, even if we know it’s too late.
Elvira, Lola and Felizia, the founders of MORS. Photo: Private”Always stabs a little extra in the heart”
On Sunday it’s Christmas Eve, a holiday that sometimes feels both heavy and sad for the girls since their mothers died in suicide.
– It is difficult to say in advance how it will be or feel. Of course it feels heavy and difficult, but at the same time I am very grateful for the wonderful people I have around me and with whom I will celebrate Christmas, says Felizia to Nyheter24.
Photo: Private
For Elvira, Christmas is a difficult time. She has always loved Christmas, but seeing people put up Christmas decorations saddens her the most these days.
– For me, it’s not just about missing the person who has passed away extra. Christmas has also become a reminder of how everything could have been, but isn’t. It always cuts a little extra in the heart when Christmas approaches, Elvira tells Nyheter24.
“When mom passed away, the magic of Christmas disappeared”
Just like for Elvira, Christmas feels hard for Lola, because it reminds of how it could have been, but isn’t.
– I have an incredibly nice family to celebrate Christmas with, a family I am deeply grateful for. But of course Christmas has been tough at times over the years. Christmas will be exactly as Elvira mentions, a time when you are reminded of what our family has been through. When mother passed away, the magic of Christmas disappeared for me as a child, it was so clear, Lola tells Nyheter24 and continues:
– I think it is extremely important to be aware that Christmas is tough for many. I feel that society creates an expectation around Christmas and how the holiday should be celebrated. An expectation which for many is totally impossible to fulfill and which therefore instead becomes a moment of anxiety.
Photo: Private
YOU CAN TURN HERE IF YOU FEEL BAD
In emergency situations or thoughts of suicide, always call 112.
Fellow on call, can be reached at night on 08-702 16 80.
Chaplain on duty, available at night. Call 112 and ask to speak to the priest on duty.
The poison information centre, 010-45 66 700, around the clock.
The suicide line, available via chat and phone 90 101 24 hours a day, every day.
The parent line, 020-85 20 00
Elderly line, 020-22 22 33.
Bris: Call, email or chat. Telephone: 116 111.
There are also patient associations and organizations that can provide more long-term support and belonging for people with mental illness, a list is available on 1177.
Transammans is an association for trans people and their relatives.
Source: mind.se and 1177