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In love as in friendship, we often give without expecting anything in return. However, when the scales are constantly out of balance, you can be affected. Here are the signs to look out for to avoid false friends and favor sincere relationships.
Lies, tensions, jealousy… Have you recently had doubts about the sincerity of your friend? Learn how to spot real friends from fake ones.
False friends: who are they?
If friends bring us well-being and happiness, false friends turn out to be hypocrites. They often seek to take advantage of the relationship or to harm the other in a subtle way. They also like to be the center of attention and do not hesitate to criticize their friends behind their backs… So many traits that can affect the daily life of their close circle.
Feeling good in your body, feeling good in your head!
Signs to look out for
To sort through these relationships and avoid these famous “false friends”, here are the 6 key signs to detect.
Jealousy
When we are happy for the other, when we share and give without counting, friendship is healthy and disinterested. On the other hand, jealousy (towards all the joys and great successes that a loved one knows) requires questioning. A false friend can be revealed by this type of behavior.
Interested affection
This is one of the most visible flaws of false friends. They do not know how to hide their lack of interest in the face of good news, success… unless they find it to their advantage. If you are in this situation and your friend disappears as soon as you (really) need him: run away.
The constant criticism
Fake friends are usually judgmental. Under the guise of “constructive advice”, they can put you down and make you lose confidence in yourself… Which is not the case in a real friendship.
“A healthy friendship “allows you to be yourself without fear of being judged. A good friend accepts you as you are and wants you to be authentic. Mutual understanding allows you to feel comfortable while letting your guard down,” confides Shainna Ali, mental health counselor, in the columns of Psychology Today.
The imbalance
Fake friendships are usually unbalanced. Only the needs and emotions of the person concerned matter. They also expect a lot from you but offer nothing in return. Therefore, you cannot count on them.
Conversely, in a healthy and balanced friendship, the other is fully present.
“A true friend knows when you need help. Sometimes they are attentive to your needs and may know them before you are even able to consciously acknowledge them. Other times they may not be aware of them, but the simple act of asking for help prompts them to act with compassion, because they sincerely want to help you,” recalls Shainna Ali.
Instability
One day it’s white and the next day it’s black? This constant instability is a characteristic trait of false friends. The problem? This lack of seriousness and consistency can be emotionally draining. Your self-esteem can be affected and these unpredictable changes in behavior can lead to high anxiety.
Manipulation
Unsurprisingly, fake friends use and abuse manipulation to get what they want. This manipulation can manifest itself in several ways, including lies and attempts to make people feel guilty. The complete opposite of a healthy friendship…
Slideshow: 10 Signs of a Toxic Friendship