Does masturbation harm sexual fulfilment?

Masturbation, or onanism, is a form of solitary sex. It can however find its place within the couple if the desire makes itself felt. According to the Larousse, masturbation is ” manual stimulation of the external genitalia for the purpose of inducing sexual pleasure “. This definition is somewhat outdated since the rise of sex toys, and does not take into account the diversity of masturbations (which are not necessarily external), but the aim remains the same: sexual pleasure.

In 2017, a Ifop poll reveals that 95% of men and 74% of women have masturbated in their lifetime. These figures have been steadily increasing since the first statistics appeared about fifty years ago. Indeed, in 1970, only 19% of women but already 73% of men admitted to having indulged in masturbation.

If solitary pleasure has spread within society, it is often misunderstood, even taboo. Despite the evolution of mores, 45% of women would never have told their partner that they caress. Therefore, many questions remain, often due to a lack of education and information. To make up for this lack, tokens a shoteye under the sheets of this practice.

Is masturbation a sign of sexual dissatisfaction?

No. If it turns out that French women who have already masturbated are more likely to be dissatisfied with their sex life (89% not satisfied and 64% very satisfied), the comparison with other countries shows that this correlation is misleading. Indeed, in France, three quarters of women have been affected during their lifetime, while this figure rises to 91% for the Netherlands. However, the Dutch are more fulfilled in bed. Specifically, a Ifop survey has put in light that only 24% of Dutch women are dissatisfied with their sex lifecompared to 31% of French women.

Within the couple, masturbation is sometimes a source of apprehension, even disgust. The partner caught in the basket can be seen as a pervert. The other person may believe that they are not fulfilling their desires, or have the impression of being deceived. Thus, sexologists’ offices regularly see the distress of people whose partner is having fun without them.

However, this act is perfectly natural. Ordinary. And above all, not representative of the sexual fulfillment of the couple. A person who appreciates masturbation will continue to practice it, whether in a couple or single, while people who are not crazy about it alone… will still not be crazy about it as a couple. Quite simply.

Could masturbation be the key to sexual fulfillment?

Some sexologists, including Philippe Arlin, go further. If our fondness for masturbation seems cultural, indulging in it would be a boon to sexual fulfillment. Indeed, it makes it possible to establish a more real relationship with the body, far from the prejudices and fantasies that pornographic culture inspires. From there, onanism is a great opportunity for the development of sexuality healthy.

On the one hand, it encourages the discovery of one’s own body. This makes it easier to guide his or her partner to their favorite erogenous zones, and to explain how to do it. On the other hand, masturbation can titillate and awaken the other parts of sexuality. For example, she uninhibitedly brings out the most effective fantasies. Once out of hiding, they just want to be exploited. In addition, self-stimulation allows you not to lose control, and not to let your libido die out in times of scarcity.

A few things to watch out for

In most cases, masturbation is a healthy practice. However, it does sometimes pose certain problems, in particular via pornography. Indeed, excessively consumed X movies can blur the line between reality and imagination, and disrupt the development of sexuality. They can also lead to easy pleasure addiction. A few clicks and theOrgasm is assured ! This, together with the performance anxieties inoculated by the sex industry, can lessen the desire for group sex. In this situation, it may be wise to consult a specialist.

Moreover, onanism within the couple can cause indirect difficulties. For example, a man discovering that his partner is masturbating with sex toys may question his abilities. And fear of not being up to par next to this infallible object. While a woman is more often afraid that her partner wants another person or is not satisfied by the frequency of their reports. These concerns are also visible among couples homosexualsbut to a lesser extent.

However, and fortunately, these apprehensions are often unfounded. They come from a lack of information on the various aspects of sexuality. And have their roots in a cultural shame of non-reproductive pleasure, instilled by the Church centuries ago.