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in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
In popular language, we often say that a woman “wears the pants” to mean that she exercises strong authority over her partner. In this situation (dominated/dominant), what should we do to find harmony? A psychologist enlightens us.
If until the beginning of the 20th century, it was inconceivable for a woman to “wear the pants”, there are now many women who do it within the couple. So much so that it sometimes becomes difficult for others to position themselves. How can you reaffirm your ideas when the other person makes all the decisions, naturally? How to reverse the balance, without leading to clash? Amélie Boukhobza provides some answers.
Communicate openly
It’s a topic that addresses the power dynamics within a couple.
“This popular expression, in my opinion, somewhat oversimplifies the complex relationships and balances of power that exist between the partners of the couple.“, first reveals the expert.
However, there are a few avenues to promote “a healthier balance” in the relationship:
- “The foundation of a balanced relationship lies in their ability to communicate openly and honestly about their needs, expectations and feelings. Above all, we encourage dialogue between the couple to express their emotions, without fear of being judged.“, advises Amélie Boukhobza.
- “You must be able to recognize what each partner in the couple brings to the relationship. Each individual has their own strengths and vulnerabilities and in my opinion should be valued.“, recognizes the psychologist.
- “Balance in the couple also involves a distribution of tasks and responsibilities. Each partner must participate in their own way, whether it be financial decisions, household chores or family commitments. All by mutual agreement. Promoting independence within the couple allows everyone to feel fulfilled and respected. We therefore encourage individual activities in addition to common activities. confides the specialist.
- “Disagreements are inevitable in a relationship, but we can also learn to manage them correctly, particularly by avoiding power struggles. And as always, if you can’t cope, and finding a balance proves particularly difficult, you may need to call on professional outside help.“, concludes Amélie Boukhobza.
Slide: 10 signs that your relationship is balanced