Do you take things too seriously? Do you tend to ruminate on a problem without being able to easily move on to something else? The 10/10/10 rule will help you.
Conflict at work, family problem, breakup, decision-making that turns into a headache… Faced with the hassles of daily life, it is sometimes difficult to put things into perspective. To achieve this, the American writer Suzy Welch offers a simple and effective method: the 10/10/10 rule. This rule consists of analyze how the decision we must make or the problem we are facing will impact us in 10 minutes, in 10 months and in 10 years.
Will the subject that concerns me today have consequences tomorrow?
Concretely, we must ask ourselves “will the subject that concerns us today really have consequences on our health, our private life and our professional life?” In times of stress, our brain naturally tends to imagine the worst. However, very often, by gaining height, and therefore stepping back, we realize that what torments us will no longer matter in a while, that we will even have forgotten it. We only have to look to the past to see that certain trials that seemed insurmountable to us at the moment had no impact and even caused us served as lessons later. In other words, the 10/10/10 rule offers the possibility of consider the situation objectively with different scenarioswithout necessarily considering the worst option.
“Any decision is subject to doubts and ruminations, that’s normal”
“The 10/10/10 rule is a method of behavioral psychology which allows a decision to be made on the basis ofa projection into the future. Generally speaking, any decision is subject to doubt and rumination because we don’t know what it will lead to.explains Véronica Olivieri-Daniel, clinical psychologist. This leads us to a form of conflict which is based on fear of the success of this decision, we don’t know if it is good or not so we hesitate. Often, we have difficulty making a decision because it means giving up solution A for solution B when we don’t know if solution B would have been better. The advantage of this method is that it lets us imagine what the situation will be like in 10 minutes, 10 months, 10 years, which allows us to rationalize a decisionto find meaning in it and to make us think on the basis of a projection into the future”.
An easy rule to implement
The principle is simple:
- to note in writing the question that concerns you,
- list the possible consequences on your life of the decision you are about to make in 10 minutes, 10 months and 10 years.
- Then comes the time to analyze this information. SO, are you really going to have problems? Will the fact that you have given your opinion on a subject really damage your relationship with your superiors? Are you really going miss something if you decide not to go to this party ? Will you still be unhappy in 10 years following this breakup? A vision that will allow you to gain height and put things into perspective as much as possible. Nothing like it to gain peace of mind!
Do not act impulsively
Very often, we suffer the consequences of our impulsive acts. And for good reason, “impulsivity is not controlled, it comes from the unconscious, goes beyond our reasoning and our rationality while the possibility of thinking, of weighing the pros and cons of a given situation makes us much less subject to the negative consequences of our actions because we know what to expect.”, indicates the clinical psychologist. Conversely, reacting impulsively will lead to negative consequences.