Published on
updated on
Reading 2 min.
Projecting ourselves into a fictional relationship is something we have all done briefly in our younger years or when faced with a big crush. But this “illusion” currently seems to be taking on the features of a “cool” trend on TikTok. Which worries experts.
Imagining what your life will be like with that contact you briefly crossed paths with on a dating app, or considering your transport neighbor as your next partner is a little daydream that doesn’t seem to do you any harm. But be careful not to give in to it too easily: this pattern strongly resembles a delusionship, that is to say an imaginary love, which must have its limits.
A completely fabricated love story
The term delusionship, a contraction of “delirium” and “illusion,” is a mention that is increasing on TikTok. It represents the strong interest that one can have in someone even though the relationship has not yet taken place.It’s the infatuation you have with someone you don’t (yet) have an established romantic relationship with – someone you see on the train every morning, or someone you chat with on a dating app, but haven’t met yet.” explains Dr. Caroline West, dating coach for the app Bumble to Glamour US magazine.
By definition, this nascent story only happens in the head of the person who fantasizes about it. They begin to interpret every fact and gesture and develop romantic scenarios that generally make them smile. A very sentimental behavior that can lighten up everyday life, but which nevertheless has its limits.
The risk? Getting carried away and losing your footing
Because the imagined story, no matter how pretty or promising, can make you lose your footing and distance you from a very real relationship and constraints.
“It can be very easy to get caught up in idealizing a relationship, or our interactions with another person,” Dr. West continues. So the fantasized person is necessarily ideal and idealized. Why go further? Because idealizing someone is taking the risk of falling from a great height. The person targeted will necessarily be different from the one imagined, at the risk of experiencing disappointment.
For Dr. West, it is still normal to dream a little about your relationship before it begins, it brings a positive bubble and contributes to the butterflies in the stomach. On condition of remaining moderate, and of jumping into reality quickly.
Slideshow: How to turn a friendship into love