Dating apps, far from being the norm among young people

Is the sexual and emotional life of young people aged 18 to 30 so different from that of their elders? The latest survey on the emotional life of young adults (Envie), which we owe to the National Institute of Demographic Studies (INED), outlines the beginning of an answer. Conducted with 10,021 individuals aged 18 to 29 living in mainland France, it focuses on the frequency and type of relationships maintained by this young generation, as well as the preferred places for these meetings, and shatters certain clichés which nevertheless seem to be accepted in the media sphere.

Not so original meeting places

The survey turns the neck on a first preconceived idea: no, young people do not throw themselves headlong into dating applications to find a potential partner. If the meeting place strongly depends on the type of meeting envisaged, places of study and work remain essential in the eyes of 18-30 year olds. More than a third of respondents who had been in a relationship over the last twelve months (34%) met their other half in a professional place or as part of their studies, compared to 31% for ongoing relationships – understand “sexfriend”, “sex date”, “friendship with a plus”, “flirt”, or even “adventure”. The figure, however, drops to 18% for one-night stands. An observation which can be explained, at least in part, by the desire of the main stakeholders not to have to (re)cross paths (as) regularly.

Dating applications would therefore appear to be the preferred choice for a casual encounter? Neither ! These are public places that are among the favorite places to consider a one-night stand, notably bars, nightclubs, concerts and festivals, or even, more simply, the street. At least these are the places favored by nearly 30% of young people who have entered into this type of relationship over the last twelve months, ahead of those who have been in a relationship (23%) and those who have maintained an ongoing relationship (21 %). Dating apps only come in third place. Make no mistake, this is indeed “an important method of meeting”, as the authors of this report point out, but it is far from being the norm.

The relationships formed on this channel are most often ephemeral. According to the survey, a fifth of 18-30 year olds who had a one-night stand in the last twelve months did so via a dating application, compared to 16% of ongoing relationships and 11% of people who had been in a relationship with. “Bringing together many young people and allowing a certain discretion, these platforms are strongly associated – in minds and in fact – with ‘one-off’ meetings, without however being limited to them.“, underlines the study.

No, the couple is not dead

As we have seen, clichés can die hard, but the survey nevertheless shows that the notion of a couple remains predominant among the younger generations. More than three quarters of 18-29 year olds (79%) say they have experienced at least one type of relationship – couple, one-night stand, or ongoing relationship – over the last twelve months, among which two thirds favored a couple relationship, cohabiting or not. A figure which drops to 21% for a one-night stand, and 15% for an ongoing relationship. However, there are disparities between genders: 72% of women say they have had a relationship in the last 12 months, compared to 60% of men and 52% of non-binary people.

“The couple remains the dominant relational form. Two thirds of young adults say they have been in a relationship in the last 12 months, whether this relationship ended or was still ongoing at the time of the survey. However, conjugality between 18 and 29 years old is not very ‘settled’ and rarely institutionalized. Among people who had been in a relationship during the year, just under a third had cohabited with their partner, 9% had been in a civil partnership and 7% had been in a married couple. At this age, declared conjugality is mainly based on a sentimental attachment, undoubtedly because the material and institutional commitments are less.“, we can read.

The authors conclude that the experiences and aspirations of young people, in terms of their emotional and intimate life, ultimately slip between the stereotypes, or boxes, that some try to attribute to them. “While waiting for marital and family settlement – ​​which is now later but not necessarily rejected – young adults experience different forms of intimate relationships. This relational diversity opposes conventional discourses, both those which presage ‘the death of the couple’ and those announcing a ‘no sex’ generation which has become prudish or cautious. Contemporary youth is, on the contrary, an intense relational moment. The couple occupies a central place but coexists with ephemeral stories and relationships that blur the boundaries between friendship and sexuality.“.

Slide: Good resolutions for a happy couple