Christmas not most wonderful time of year for everyone: social worker

While sappy social media posts and Hallmark movies may create the illusion the holiday season is the most wonderful time of year, it’s not the case for everyone.

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“People feel pressure to get the right gift, to make it to all the functions, to do all the things, to have the ‘Pinterest perfect Christmas,’” said social worker Jennifer Andrews, owner of Somiro Wellness (www.somirowellness.ca) in Chatham.

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During her 22 years as a social worker, including 18 years in the mental health field, she said, “I’ve encountered numerous individuals for whom Christmas is a source of emotional distress.

“It’s intriguing to note that the very aspects of Christmas that bring joy to some can trigger stress, anxiety, or depression in others,” she said.

When it comes to coping with the stress of the holiday season, Andrews said an important coping skill is learning to say no.

She said people need to learn how to say no, and be OK with it and not feel guilty about it.

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If you want to decline attending a function, Andrews suggests you say, “No, thank you. We appreciate the invitation, but we can’t do that this year.”

She added, there’s no need to give an explanation why.

Another challenging situation during the holidays is dealing with the loss of a loved one, which often creates mixed feelings, Andrews said.

“It is very difficult navigating grievance, especially during the holidays, so it’s OK to feel that and it is OK to go somewhere and have fun too,” she said.

“People sometimes think it has to be one or the other,” she said. “It’s OK to have both feelings.”

Andrews said it is important to have a balance; if you need to cry go ahead, then afterwards, take a deep breath and have some fun, if you want.

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“Learning how to hold space for both can be tricky. That’s where a therapist can come in handy,” she said.

Andrews said people don’t have to have a mental diagnosis to feel anxiety.

“I truly believe that everyone at some point in their life needs to talk to a therapist,” she said.

“A therapist is just somebody to help you navigate through the thoughts and feelings and maybe teach you skills you don’t have,” she said.

Andrews also suggests other coping strategies people can use to help get through the stress of the holidays. These include:

• Master the art of grounding: Develop techniques to refocus your thoughts when holiday stress starts to mount. Take a deep breath and engage your senses: observe the colors around you, feel the textures, listen to the sounds, smell the scents and taste something. Redirecting your thoughts can help you stay focused on the present moment. It’s like a mental reset button.
• Show yourself with self-compassion: Remind yourself that it’s perfectly fine not to attend every party or subject yourself to the annual airing of family grievances. You’re allowed to enjoy your own company, even if that means binge-watching holiday classics in your pajamas.
• Take time for yourself: Whether it’s a brief respite or a full-blown day of escape, recharge those mental and physical batteries. Treat yourself to a soothing shower, a leisurely bath, read a book, go for a walk, a drive or a caramel macchiato excursion without the kids. You’ve earned it.

“By incorporating these strategies, you can navigate the holiday season with greater ease and perhaps even find moments of genuine joy amidst the challenges,” Andrews said. “Don’t forget, what you need and want are just as important as everything else.”

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