You can be in love at any age, according to Doctor of Psychology Emeric Lebreton. In children, first love begins quite young. So, how do you know if your child has a boyfriend or girlfriend?
Everyone remembers, even as an adult, their very first love… When, in the playground, we received a heartfelt letter and our little friend kissed us and held our hand, everything proud. Does your little girl only talk to you about her dear Thomas or your boy about his friend Alexandra? These are the first signs that your child is starting to have new emotions. But at what age can we really speak of a child’s first love?
You should know that in toddlers, being in love is a learning process that happens a lot through imitation. He observes what is happening around him, notes and understands that there are different types of relationships between people” explains Doctor of Psychology Emeric Lebreton, also author of “How do you fall in love?“. But contrary to what you might think, children fall in love sooner than you imagine. “We can be in love at any age, there are children aged 4 or 5 who are in love”, specifies the expert. So it can start from kindergarten. Moreover, “some do not hesitate to put a word on it and declare themselves in love to formalize their relationship. Even giving their girlfriend or boyfriend kisses on the lips, or giving them gifts, holding hands or cuddling, even though they are only five years old.”, notes Emeric Lebreton. Other children can feel in love without even being demonstrative: they “can be in love with a person without ever or almost speaking to them. Sometimes, the person concerned is not even aware“.
But then, why do babies kiss each other on the mouth? According to another psychologist, Stephan Valentin, author of the book “Arthur is in love”, published by Pfefferkorn, it is simply a reproduction of what they see from their parents. “Toddlers observe their parents and how they show each other that they love each other. For the child, giving a kiss is a sign that we love each other and the desire to be with each other, to spend time together.“, explains the specialist. According to him, babies don’t really fall in love.”It is especially from the age of 6 or 7 that a strong attraction to another boy or girl allows us to speak of a first great love.”
However, these romantic feelings during childhood do not have the same intensity as in adults. “Before the age of 10, children can be in love with one person, then a week later with another or even be in love with two people at the same time. In fact, “they are learning to put words to their emotions and to identify the nature of the relationships they have with others. Falling in love therefore contributes to their learning,” notes Emeric Lebreton. As we grow up, especially around the age of entering middle school, being in love is taken very seriously and experienced more intensely.
What should I do if my child is still stuck with his or her lover?
“It is important to ensure that the child is not too exclusive and that they continue to see their other friends. It’s not the intensity that is in question, but the fact that the two lovers live in a bubble. By offering to play with his other friends, the child learns early that being in love should not endanger friendly relations. For Stéphan Valentin, it is also important that parents approve of their little one’s relationship. “Parents should show that they agree that their child likes a girl or a boy and that they do not become “jealous” of this loving feeling.