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Among all the qualities necessary for the good health of a couple, one ingredient in particular could ensure its sustainability which is based on mutual encouragement. What if we congratulated each other more often?
Love, respect, sharing… These are important concepts when we talk about a happy and lasting couple. But another facet is also necessary for its development. That of supporting your partner in their personal ambitions, even when they do not excite us, or do not concern us directly.
Support that is good for the couple
Thus, according to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychologythe way we react to good news from our partner would be more important for the health of the couple than the way we react to negative events.
This means celebrating, for example, a sporting victory, but also a raise, a success… Any event dear to the heart of your spouse for which he or she spent time or energy. As the study affirms, the people who felt supported on a daily basis in their small victories were also those who declared themselves the most satisfied with their relationship and the least likely to break up.
“When you talk about a negative event, the best your partner can do is bring you back to an average state, that is, to a state that is not disturbed. Positive events offer much more possibilities for growth in a relationship because there are fewer issues in terms of stress andself esteem“, explained Shelly Gable, author of the study in question.
This notion of cheerleading (named after the cheerleaders who accompany sports teams in the United States) seems a little superficial to you? It is not so. Being in a relationship where the other person believes in you would be a solid foundation for facing the outside world and feeling strong,”because you know someone has your back, supports you and believes in you. It allows us to be people in our own right.” confirms Tracy Ross, couples therapist at Well + Good media on this subject.
But what should you do if you want to encourage your other half better (and more)? Here are some easy points:
- Above all, don’t diminish the other person’s accomplishment, even if you are less enthusiastic;
- Likewise, do not start by expressing doubts as a first intention;
- Show enthusiasm right away, even over small victories;
- Evoke merit and work accomplished;
- Don’t bring all this back to yourself (this is his time!).
On the other hand, you don’t need a glittering pompom or slogan to be effective, unless you feel like it, of course!
Slide: 10 signs your relationship will last