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in collaboration with
Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
On Tiktok, a new rule is panicking Internet users. This is the 333 method, which allows you to predict the potential of a romantic relationship. But what does our expert think? Here is his response.
Perhaps you have seen the rule of 333 pass on the networks… This is a method popularized by the tiktoktor @shadierecinoswhich promises to predict the future of a relationship in just 3 steps. But is this method reliable? We asked Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, the question.
What is rule 333 on Tiktok?
The advice from the creator of the rule is simple: take stock after three meetings, three weeks and three months. Behind these key moments lie decisive stages which make it possible to detect the potential of the relationship and the partner.
“It shouldn’t take you more than three appointment to find out if you are really attracted to each other“, he explains. It’s also the same for three weeks and three months. “It doesn’t take more than three months to know if you’re in a serious relationship or not“, he explains again.
The tiktoktor thus invites people starting a relationship to ask themselves the right questions by following these three key principles:
1. The first three days. This first step invites you to ask yourself if a connection was established from the first moments with your partner. In other words, this phase reveals whether the chemistry “works”.
2. The first three weeks. Once the discovery phase has passed, the first three weeks test the couple’s compatibility and chemistry. During this period, the qualities and faults of each person begin to appear and a “we” becomes possible. The following questions are then worth asking: is a future with this person possible? Do we share the same values? Are our expectations aligned? If the answers are positive, then a promising relationship seems to be taking shape.
3. The first three months. Next comes the “construction” stage. The first three months of a relationship allow you to solidify the foundations. This is a phase where habits become established. The creator of Rule 333 says that at this stage, it is time to formalize the relationship or break up. After three months, everyone should be able to determine whether the relationship is serious or not.
Rule 333: what does our expert think?
Questioned on this subject, Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, is surprised by this new rule which pushes individuals to fit into boxes.
She nevertheless affirms that it is “an interesting framework to give some structure to a time when everything is still uncertain in a relationship. This rule offers guidelines to avoid getting lost in ambiguous relationships, which can be reassuring for many“, she says.
However, these three principles also have their limits.
“Love does not always follow predefined stages, in such a regulated way. Wanting to check boxes at specific times still takes away all the spontaneity that normally makes a relationship lively and unique. Each meeting has its own codes, its own experience depending on the partners who make it up….”, recalls the expert.
Some couples may need more time to discover themselves, without necessarily knowing where they stand.”after three appointments or three months“, further details the specialist, “where others will go much faster“.
“You know Carmen by Bizet… ‘love is the child of bohemians, who have never, never known law!’ Let’s ask ourselves the right questions, at the right time – for ourselves and for others. That won’t be bad!“, she concludes enthusiastically.
Slide: 8 questions to ask your partner (and yourself) for a lasting relationship