The strategy game simulation Crusader Kings 3 (Steam) is usually realistic. Players can slip into the shoes of historical figures from the Middle Ages, perhaps playing the Viking prince Björn Eisenschild or Alfred the Great, the English king. But there are also strange characters. Today we are introducing you to perhaps the weirdest character in Crusader Kings 3.
These are the characters in Crusaders Kings 3: There are 3 different starting dates in Crusader Kings 3 and a huge amount of pre-made, fixed characters. If you start in 1066, the game has 22,418 characters on day 1.
Every historical figure who had a noble title and property at the time is represented in the game, with the appropriate age, skills and attributes that match the historical model.
There are also over 100 well-known historical figures who did not own land but were important. They come into play at certain times through events. These are warriors and warlords like William Wallace from Braveheat or poets, bards and famous clerics.
There are also randomly generated characters that are born or created randomly when you need characters for the plot, such as the NPC that is created for the “Kaspar Hauser” event.
The player recruits his court from these tens of thousands of characters, looks for his knights, lovers, clergy or turns them into bitter enemies who then try to eliminate him through assassination attempts.
You can watch the Crusader Kings III announcement trailer here:
Crusader Kings III: Legends of the Dead – Announcement Trailer
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All negative qualities are combined in one figure
This is the weirdest character in the game: In the starting date of 1066, there is a character named Ewan “the Trustworthy” Cowhig Croft in the English province of Heartfordshire.
The man is 27 years old and has some of the worst qualities you could possibly have in Crusader Kings 3: He’s a drunk, a weakling, an imbecile, only has one leg and one arm – he’s also terribly educated, is a dilettante. He’s also cowardly and stubborn.
With 11 points in Intrigue, he has a mediocre value in everything villainous and mean and is of no use otherwise.
The character should actually drop dead immediately, but no one lives longer
That’s the character’s special gag: Many who stumble across the trustworthy idiot will notice that he lives a surprisingly long time, although he is so severely marked by fate that he should actually only have a short life expectancy.
One player was amazed to see that despite all his ailments, Ewan was still alive and well at 77 years old. Normally, at that age, with his condition, he should have either been long dead or at least on the verge of death.
But in Crusader Kings 3 there is a hidden “Health” stat that is usually around 5. But Ewan has a 14 here. This means that the man can live up to 150 years – which, as experiments show, is the maximum age of figures.
Other characters in Crusader Kings 3, such as the marauding Viking Haestein, also have an artificially increased health value and therefore regularly live up to 80 years old, while normal mortals often end at 60.
A YouTuber brought the character with all longevity traits to 147 years old:
Ewan is actually a developer at Paradox in Stockholm
What’s behind the character? Ewan belongs to a fourth, special category of characters in Crusader Kings 3 – he is an “Easter Egg” character.
Ewan is “in real life” a developer of Crusader Kings 3, who was written into the game here as a gag.
The man works in real life in Stockholm and worked his way up from game tester to game designer in 6 years at Paradox. One can only guess what kind of reputation he has among his colleagues to deserve this virtual version.
Another Paradox employee says of the character on Steam: Our people just think it’s funny to put an absurdly ridiculous number of negative traits on their Easter Egg characters.
Before Christmas, Paradox presented what would happen next with Crusader Kings 3 in 2025. MeinMMO has published the right information for you and an assessment of what kind of DLC we can expect from the strategy game on Steam: I spent 1,463 hours with a game on Steam – in 2025 it will be even bigger