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Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)
To make your relationship last, it is necessary to respect certain limits. If you are wondering what mistakes you should not make – because they could be fatal for your relationship – Doctissimo interviewed psychologist Amélie Boukhobza and here are her answers.
In love, what mistakes should you avoid making, so as not to endanger your relationship? The answers may vary depending on the person, but certain attitudes should be avoided and this applies to everyone (or it is a toxic relationship).
Having unhealthy arguments
An argument in a relationship happens, it’s even something quite healthy. “It’s not so much the arguments that should be avoided, because they are sometimes necessary to bring up things that are not otherwise said.” confirms our expert.
But when the argument becomes unhealthy, there is a risk for the couple. “When the argument escalates, when we want to talk for hours, it represents a real trap for the couple” warns Amélie Boukhobza. “To be absolutely avoided otherwise you will sometimes say horrors that leave indelible traces.“For her, you have to say what’s on your heart and then”we leave the stage, to return more calmly to our partner, later”.
Let boredom set in
“Boredom, of course, is a mistake for the couple” believes the psychologist. The couple’s boredom means that they are not taken care of. “It is essential for the couple to grant them dedicated time and special moments: a romantic weekend, a few days of traveling together, a weekly evening, a dinner, a cinema, unexpected attention… everything is worth taking for granted. that everyday life is not a habit” she recommends.
Neglecting your sexuality
Sexuality is a key point in the couple. Our expert goes further and describes it as “couple glue”. “Too many couples forget each other and end up having a ultimately platonic relationship. And it is often fatal! Sexuality is essential to reveal things that cannot be said with words” rrightly calls Amélie Boukhobza.
Make yourself jealous or afraid
These are two absolute no-gos for our expert. “We always take care of each other, even if we are sometimes angry. So we don’t slam the door without the other knowing that we are certainly leaving, but that we will come back. We talk to each other, we tell each other where we are, what time we’ll be back. You don’t leave your partner in fear.” analyzes on the one hand the psychologist.
Same thing for jealousy. “No point trying to make him jealous either, to spice up the couple or whatever. It’s taking the risk of opening breaches that can get bigger and bigger.“. And fatally jeopardize the relationship.
Do not humiliate or demean others
Finally, we take care of our communication, as a couple. “It is important to address your other half in the best possible way.” recalls the psychologist. Because through language, the beginning of a toxic relationship can take hold. This may seem obvious, but “we do not humiliate, we do not demean others, neither when we are alone, nor in front of other people” finally concludes the expert.
Slide: 10 signs your relationship will last