The number of people experiencing unhappiness is increasing day by day. The pandemic negatively affects happiness at work, school and social relationships. Unhappiness causes a person to not enjoy life. In order to be happy, it is necessary not to focus on the negatives and to be happy with the little things. prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan’s 3A formula for achieving happiness draws attention. Emphasizing the importance of ‘Meaning, Purpose, Friend’ in happiness, Tarhan underlines that logical, emotional and social intelligence should be used in a balanced way in happiness.
A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP MUST BE ESTABLISHED BETWEEN EXPECTATIONS AND WHAT IS ACHIEVED
Saying, “Happiness is being able to establish a healthy relationship between our expectations and what we achieve,” Tarhan draws attention to the fact that every age has a dimension to achieve happiness, and that a person should have a garden in every season.
OUR GOAL SHOULD NOT BE SATISFYING WITH WHAT HAS BEEN
prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan also stated that something new should be added to each new development and said that especially the next generations have important duties. prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “I think that new generations should take this further and develop it better. It should be our goal. Our goal should not be to settle for what has been, but to add something new.” said.
HAPPINESS ALSO HAS A RECIPE
prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said that there is a recipe for happiness as well as the treatment of diseases. prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “People have a problem of seeking happiness and unhappiness. When we look at it, it goes back to Socrates, Aristotle and Plato. The topics they discuss are happiness issues. The original idea was Socrates. Aristotle put it into writing.” said.
WE NEED TO MANAGE THE HAPPINESS PROCESS CORRECTLY
Noting that in temporary happiness, a person becomes sad when the thing that makes him happy ends after a while, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “When the good days pass, even the end of it makes people sad. The end of sadness gives pleasure to people. Happiness is not situational, happiness is a process. This process needs to be managed. It is important to be able to manage the process correctly in happiness.” he said.
THE PROCESS OF HAPPINESS SHOULD NOT BE WRONG
Emphasizing that in order to carry out the process management in happiness correctly, it is necessary to have a life philosophy about happiness. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “Happiness is not living relentlessly, doing whatever you want, breaking down walls, breaking chains, living according to your own mind. This is deceptive happiness. The capitalist system and popular culture encourage this happiness to increase consumption. It forces us to live in the wheel of boiler consume. He says ‘Win, spend, have fun, work for 5 days and have fun for 2 days’. This is the philosophy of life in the life of the average person in the USA right now. She feels very bad if she can’t have fun on the weekend, if her child gets sick or something negative happens.” said.
LIVING FUN IS NOT RELATED TO HAPPINESS
Emphasizing that hedonistic happiness does not make people happy, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “There is even talk of a syndrome for those who aim for this happiness but cannot achieve it. It’s called California syndrome. Since California Syndrome is very common in California, there is also a lot of happiness research done there. What Antalya is to us, California is to the USA, in terms of entertainment. The people there have many things, they have fun, they live very fast. There is all this, but people are still not happy.” said.
HAPPINESS IN THE KINGDOM OF SELFISTIC IS FAKE
Noting that there is a second feature in unhappy people, this is called egocentrism. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “Happiness in the kingdom of selfishness is fake. A selfish pursuit of happiness becomes a false pursuit of happiness. You cannot be happy if you live in the kingdom of selfishness. You are happy in that moment, but you are worse when it slips out of your hands because you cannot sustain and control it. There is a famous American actor who made a statement, ‘This old age is such a terrible thing, I want euthanasia.’ said. Euthanasia is legal in Canada. You go to the doctor for euthanasia. A kind of suicide. The person has lived fast, but cannot continue the same after age. However, if his philosophy of happiness were true…” he said.
MONEY IS NOT ENOUGH TO BE HAPPY
Emphasizing that the philosophy of life is very important in being happy, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “If the philosophy of life is structured correctly, it is not possible for a person not to be happy. In the latest happiness study conducted in the United States, per capita GDP rose from $20,000 to $35,000 between 1950 and 2000. However, in the happiness surveys conducted on the same dates, the rate of those who say they are very happy remains at 30%. It never increases. They say the phrase ‘Money does not buy happiness’. Having money does not buy happiness. You definitely need other capital to buy happiness. This is social capital, emotional capital.” said.
SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MUST BE DEVELOPED
Noting that logical intelligence can make a person rich, but social and emotional intelligence is not developed, one cannot be happy. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “The formula for happiness is to strengthen all three intelligence areas. Logical intelligence, emotional intelligence and social intelligence. It is necessary to draw attention to the third symptom of the California syndrome, which is loneliness. In the end, unhappiness arises. Major depression and suicides are on the rise. It occurs more especially under stress and crisis situations.” said.
IT IS WRONG TO TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE
“Happiness is to succeed in establishing a healthy relationship between our expectations and what we have achieved,” said Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “Every person has expectations in their life: I am this or that, I have a life like this. Other than that, there are what they have and what they can’t. Those who can establish a balanced relationship between them can be happy. If he is obsessed with what he cannot achieve, he becomes unhappy. He can be happy if he knows the value of what he has achieved and what he has. One has to maintain this balance. Happiness is happiness in action. Happiness is not something to be chased. Happiness is like a shadow. As he tries to catch a human shadow, he escapes and cannot. If you go to your destination, the colored shadow will follow you. We will not want to catch him, we will focus on our goal, we will take the right steps with the right steps.” said.
TO BE HAPPY, YOU MUST BE HAPPY WITH THE SMALL THINGS
Noting that it is important to be happy with ordinary things, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “It is very important in happiness to know the value of things like being able to sit together with your children, have a cup of tea, and be happy with what you have. In order to be happy, there must be a feeling of gratitude. You have to be happy with the little things.” said.
THERE ARE THREE CONCEPTS CAUSES OF UNHAPPINESS
Noting that there are three concepts that take people away from happiness, Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan listed these as greed, apathy and ambition. “It is not possible for a person who is insatiable, greedy and selfish to be happy,” said Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan said, “These people can’t get enough. They become cruel because they wish for more. They also start to eat other people’s rights. They become cruelly rich, but they become lonely and unhappy. These people cannot be happy. For this, it is important for people to form their philosophy of life correctly. If a person is looking for happiness, he must have the 3 A’s, meaning, purpose, and friend. Life should have meaning, purpose and friend. Human is a relational being, not programmed to live alone. A social being. He needs to aim to be a part of the social structure, which we say needs to develop his social intelligence as well. They cannot be happy because they are egocentric people. They become successful, rich, but not happy and alone for the rest of their lives.” he said.