Avatar reminds me of a gross Scary Movie 3 scene and I can’t get over it

Avatar reminds me of a gross Scary Movie 3 scene

The Avatar franchise is a celluloid hippie dream. Peaceful Na’vi live in harmony with nature, flatly reject the capitalist conquest of human invaders, and seek true kinship with those around them.

Like them nasty aliens from Scary Movie 3 peeing out of their fingers.

The Na’vi sex in Avatar reminds me of the aliens from Scary Movie 3

In the third and best part of the Scary Movie series, aliens land on earth who choke themselves as a greeting and are therefore initially mistaken for brutal invaders. As the misunderstanding clears up, one of the aliens comments: “If you think that’s weird, you should see how we peen”, and surprisingly relieves itself directly from the index finger. The inconspicuous finger joints also like to land with impressive frequency in the mouths of their human acquaintances.

Check out the alien scene from Scary Movie 3 here:

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The Na’vi don’t pee (on camera), and their genitals are likely to be nowhere else but between their legs. So where is the connection between Avatar and Scary Movie 3?

The reason, why Avatar makes me think of Scary Movie 3 is the Na’vi braid. The native people of Pandora connect with each other through his hair, but also with ancient trees or, as in Avatar 2: The Way of Water, with giant sea mammals. That’s when it starts to get ridiculous. And the film is to blame.

James Cameron turns the Na’vi into sex-hungry aliens

The screenplay for James Cameron’s sci-fi hit mocks the braids, also known as queues from the beginning as pseudo-genitals and sex tools. For example, if Dr. Augustine (Sigourney Weaver) warns protagonist Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) not to play around with his Na’vi braid too much or he’ll go blind. A clear reference to masturbation.

And when Jake and his Na’vi crush Neytiri later unite in a braid, Cameron stages the moment as a lustful act that, like so many sex scenes in an FSK 12 film, has to make way for the cut the next morning. The scene can only be seen in the Extended Cut, perhaps because the director was aware how strongly he sexually charges his allegedly so transcendent soul connection.

Check out the hair scene from Avatar here:

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The braids will never get rid of the sexual imprint afterwards. What is even more disturbing because the Na’vi really stick their back of the head genitals in everywhere. In their four-legged wolf companions, their riding dragons or the Tulkun whales from Avatar 2.

Scary Movie 3 brings the overbearing Avatar franchise back to earth

So it’s not far to the Scary Movie 3 aliens with their finger penises and penchant for oral sex without consent. Even if the aliens are gray instead of blue. The more James Cameron confronts me with the ideal of the nature-loving, oh-so-platonic and immaterialistic Na’vi, the funnier I find the analogy.

I like Avatar and its sequel. I think the story is completely interchangeable and still enjoy the films as entertaining sci-fi epics with a revolutionary look. But if there’s one thing about the franchise that drives me nuts then it is his arrogance.

Check out our colleague Yves’ Avatar 2 verdict here:

Avatar 2 Great pics, but TERRIBLELY LONG! Review

The arrogance with which James Cameron told me about environmental pollution, my lost connection to the earth, my greed for money and want to rub my superficial love life in their face. James Cameron, one of the most successful directors of all time, now probably a billionaire, who can afford to take 13 years to make a film. Apparently he cries uncontrollably into a wad of bills when I use Tinder or plastic bags.

That’s fine with me, Cameron’s legitimate, but extremely simplistic social criticism through the thought of alien penises and planet-wide hair orgies down to earth in the flesh. A bit of (consensual) sex doesn’t hurt, the hippies always knew that. And the Scary Movie association gives Avatar the humor he feels too good for.

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