Authoritarian or lax? The 7 clues that show that you have the right attitude with your children

Setting limits, setting a framework and remaining kind and attentive to your children: this is how we could “authoritative parenting”, which can be translated as “authoritative parenting”. Not to be confused with “authoritarian parenting”, a method of education that focuses solely on the rules, without really taking into account the child’s feelings. A few clues will help you know if you are part of the first or second category…

You allow your children to fail

Being an authoritative parent does not set success as an essential criterion for your child. On the contrary, failure is allowed and the parent will be there to support and advise their child if they request it. Indeed, for you, children must learn from their mistakes and therefore fail in order to better surpass themselves. This allows them to have better self-esteem and more self-confidence.

You emphasize their successes

In the same way, you focus on your child’s successes and allow them to make their own decisions. This teaches him to be at ease when faced with difficult choices or when he has to take the initiative to resolve this or that situation.

You give them the opportunity to re-discuss the rules

Choosing this type of parenting allows the child to understand that he is responsible for his choices, which allows him to make good decisions. It is therefore possible to review certain rules with him, because he will know how to stick to them.

You attach great importance to fairness and respect

Respect is an essential value in your education. Moreover, children who have respectful parents are the most likely to respect others, because they act as a mirror to the education they receive.

You prefer to empower them

Authoritative parents will gently push their children out of their comfort zone so that they try new things and challenge themselves. Instead of staying at home, you always have a new activity to offer them.

You express interest in their thoughts and feelings

You respect your children’s personality and individuality, without forcing them to finish their plate or denying the emotions they may be feeling.

You set clear expectations and communicate them correctly

You set clear limits for your children (which you also follow). And these limits don’t stop you from being kind and caring towards them.

Being an authoritative parent is not easy. It takes time and effort to establish the rules necessary for a child’s development and follow them clearly and consistently.

However, here are some tips for implementing an authoritative parenting style:

• Find a way to praise your child when he listens or follows the rules;
• Spend one-on-one time with him, letting him choose the activity he wants and playing with him;
• Make sure everyone understands boundaries and expectations, with rules that are reasonable and adapted to each person’s development;
• Be clear about the consequences for breaking the rules and apply the sanction if necessary;
• Avoid harsh or coercive parenting techniques.

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