The Twitch streamer Asmongold (34) published a large video on the night of October 1st, 2024 in which he tells his life story. He talks about his youth, his physical decline, the death of his mother, his devotion to the MMORPG WoW and the breakup with a long-time girlfriend who apparently caused him problems.
Asmongold answers these questions in the video: Last night an unusual video from Twitch streamer Asmongold went live. It says “I have been living like an animal for 13 years. Today I’ll explain why.” The video lasts almost 36 minutes.
In the video, the now successful Twitch streamer describes his childhood with a single mother. His youth was marked by financial difficulties after his parents separated.
Asmongold found out early on that he was “different” and had no natural access to emotions and socially accepted behavior, but had to “learn” all of it.
He tells how he was forced to become a streamer to keep himself and his mother financially afloat. His mother’s health began to deteriorate after she turned 60. Asmongold says his mother smoked too much and was severely overweight. For years he woke up to her calling his name – sometimes it was like that, sometimes he imagined the voice.
Asmongold describes a bad year in 2021, in which his mother died, his long-term girlfriend broke up with him and his father became seriously ill. The year changed his life and his thinking. Since then, his squalor has gotten even worse, with his room full of rubbish and poor personal hygiene.
Asmongold’s career and life in 3 minutes – what makes him special?
More videos
Autoplay
“I have a moral compass, but it doesn’t point north.”
How does he describe his youth?? Asmongold says he wasn’t always the same as he is now, but until he was about 13 he tried to fit in and make a good impression on people. But he realized early on that something was wrong with him.
He says that during baseball he was so annoyed with another boy that he hit the ball so hard that it hit the boy full in the face, causing the boy to collapse, bleed, and lose a tooth. Everyone reacted in horror, but Asmongold was happier than ever. It was then that he realized that something was wrong with him.
He said he had his mother read him the sins from the Bible because he felt like he needed to know what not to do. He does have a moral compass, but it doesn’t point north.
At one point Asmongold says he stabbed someone, but then stops the story because he says if he were to tell it, it might change the viewer’s image of him too much.
Teeth and the irrevocable farewell to “normal life”
How did he lose his teeth? The topic of “teeth” is a defining theme for Asmongold. He says he planned to kill himself after high school, so he never thought about his future or brushed his teeth, but he loves drinking soda.
As a result, he had bad teeth all his life, which were first treated with extensive fillings and then gradually fell out while he started streaming and repeatedly pulled out his own teeth. At one point he had such a bad toothache that he fainted from them.
When he went to the dentist for the first time, he realized that he had caused irreparable damage to his body and that a “normal life” was no longer possible. As a child you think that every mistake can be repaired. But the dentist made it clear to him that his teeth were so rotten that there was no way back.
Also to pay for a complete dental restoration, which cost about $50,000, he started making a career and streaming.
Today he says he still has 5 real teeth in his mouth, he has no molars, so his appearance has changed significantly.
WoW expansion saves his life because it completely absorbs him
This is the role WoW played in his life: Asmongold says succinctly that he actually planned to take his own life after high school. But he missed it because he was so engrossed in World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lichking that he somehow missed it.
Wrath of the Lichking was released in 2008, Asmongold is now 34 – he must have been around 18 or 19 at the time.
If you are plagued by dark thoughts, you can contact the telephone counseling service on 0800/111 0 111 and 0800/11 0 22 – this is nationwide and free of charge.
Lack of money drives him to stream
How did he get his life under control? After he decided to live past the age of 20, he tried to get his life under control and worked for the tax authority. But later he had such a terrible job that he decided he definitely didn’t want to lead that life.
So he went to college and got a degree in business while also starting his career as a YouTuber. Looking back, he says he learned more about business through streaming than through his studies.
He actually planned to go to law school because he found it impressive how one of his friends was able to interpret the rules to his advantage when discussing Magic: The Gathering.
But his streaming career took off and he urgently needed money because his mother could no longer work. Asmongold says many can cite great reasons why they started streaming. He just had to make money and often joked that he would immediately take the money he made to Wendy’s to buy donuts while the situation at home was serious.
Women don’t play a role in life until a long-term relationship is suddenly mentioned
This is what he says to women: Asmongold says women weren’t very interested in him when he was in school. A “level 60 warrior” was apparently not as great for them as it was for his friends in WoW.
He says that while all his friends are getting married and having children, he lives “as he lives,” with maximum self-determination.
However, a “long-time girlfriend” suddenly appears in his description, but he only mentions her when she broke up with him after his mother died.
This is clearly a passage in which Asmongold puts a lock on his private life and his world of thoughts. He doesn’t talk about this relationship, which obviously had a great influence on him, but only mentions it in passing.
It stands to reason that this friend is the streamer PinkSparkles, whom Asmongold has spoken about several times. She probably lived with him in Austin for a while, but she moved back to the big city.
PinkSparkles, 28, who Asmongold often calls “Izzy,” now has a child and just announced that she is retiring from streaming.
Asmongold does not mention his “current girlfriend” Kaise in the video. With Kaise, there is some evidence to suggest that it was more of a collaboration between two streamers than a romantic relationship.
This is what he says about criticism: Asmongold says he has done virtually everything wrong in his life, but has been very successful at it. It’s as if he had a checklist of how to do things correctly and behaved completely differently. Apparently many people were bothered by him.
Even if he doesn’t like this criticism and doesn’t think it’s good, he ultimately doesn’t care about it. He stopped caring about other people’s opinions a long time ago.
Asmongold says everyone he loves is dead, dying or has abandoned him
What was the defining moment of the video? At the end of the video he explains that he has been undergoing a new transformation for several years, around 2021, and he is trying to minimize the influence of other people on his life. Because that only brings suffering and misfortune:
The 35-year-old says everyone he loves has either died, is dying or has left him. The more he worried about things, the more unhappy he became. This may be a pathological problem of his, but in the end it is just his way of dealing with it. He only cares about himself – and his father, whom he looks after in old age.
What does he say about living such a miserable life? Asmongold says he just doesn’t think about it. It doesn’t bother him.
It is important for him that he lives with maximum self-determination.
Having money is much better than having no money, but success and all that money haven’t changed him. Maybe he’ll change his life again, maybe not. He’s just trying to be happy.
Asmongold tells how he became Asmongold
This is what lies behind it: Asmongold appears authentic in the video and as if he is telling his “origin story”. Evil, you could say, he’s doing a soul striptease.
The video is a feast for amateur psychologists. One can certainly speculate wildly, diagnose and make connections between what he experienced and how he based his philosophy of life on it.
Some of this may also explain the development of its content, which has gone in a different direction from gaming content since the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial. Today, Asmongold often criticizes people who, in his view, behave hypocritically or morally wrong – and in doing so, he repeatedly directs the focus of his increasingly angry and outraged community towards individuals.
Many fans are touched by the honesty and clarity with which Asmongold speaks about his life and growing older. The comment he pinned himself reads: “I used to joke about people with bald heads – now I have one myself.”
There is a direct link to the telephone counseling service under the video on YouTube. And rightly so.