After the red flags, here are the yellow flags, these signs that invite you to slow down in the couple

While the word red flag has now entered popular language, such as warning signals about a relationship, the word yellow flag is quite new. According to the New York Timesit does not indicate a situation to be urgently fled, but a signal that you should communicate more with the person you met, to clarify certain things.They are warning caution, but it is not a 9-1-1 alert,” This is how Todd Baratz, therapist and author of How to love someone without losing your mind. What could these yellow flags look like? The experts consulted by the media give 4 examples.

All the exes you meet are “crazy”

“If your partner reveals that all of their exes have been ‘terrible people, bordering on crazy,’ that’s a red flag,” “It’s possible that this person has been unlucky in love, yes, but these comments could also indicate a difficulty taking responsibility for past relationships.

In this case it may be useful to ask the person directly what role they played in the end of their last relationships. But also how they explain in this case their attraction to so-called unstable people.Both options give the person a chance to take responsibility,” emphasizes the expert.

Your entourage does not approve of your relationship

If people you trust have reservations about your new relationship, you should probably pay attention, says Jeff Guenther, a psychotherapist in Portland.They might see something you don’t because you are blind to love“he said.

Sometimes, though, your friends’ disapproval has little to do with your new suitor.”They may be unhappy with all the time you spend with this person or feel that no one is ever good enough for you.”. In this case, try to talk frankly with your loved ones and ask them precisely what worries them.

You are alone in exposing yourself and talking about yourself.

You’ve asked your partner over 50 questions, but you’ve received no response back, or a simple “what about you?”This is a pretty obvious warning signal.” for the therapist.”Asking questions to show interest is the basis. Even an AI can find 5 questions to ask during a first date“.

However, also remember that dating can make people anxious and withdrawn. In this case, try to subtly tip the scales.”Hey, it’s your turn now” with a smile.

Your appointment is inconsistent

Someone who texts you multiple times nonstop and then disappears for several hours or overnight can also be a yellow flag.This unreliability makes us feel insecure”warns Jeff Guenther “but instead of speculating about the absence of the person you met, give him or her a chance to fill in the gaps”. This involves being transparent about your mutual expectations (when are you available to chat?) and how you operate.Maybe the person just doesn’t like to answer during work hours,” continues the expert, and you will have to adapt.” Getting things straight will help you figure out if there is a “system” that needs to be put in place (and timing), or if the person is just not there for you. Either way, it’s good to know.

Slideshow: Hands, lips… Decode the signs during a first date!