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Do you think it’s impossible to trust a partner again after they’ve been unfaithful? Think again. Although the process is difficult, it is still possible to restore this feeling by following these eight steps, according to an American psychologist.
When faced with infidelity, there are two opposing camps: those who are unable to forget and end the relationship, and those who choose to forgive. For the latter, the journey is difficult (but not impossible!) and involves several stages. The American psychologist Mark Travers details them in an article for Forbes.
Understanding the impact of infidelity
Very often, after discovering infidelity, the betrayed partner feels a mixture of sadness, anger and a loss of self-esteem. “These reactions come from feeling that their trust and emotional investment have been violated. They may also question their own worth or attractiveness, which can lead to feelings of insecurity.” explains the expert. Understanding and validating these emotions is the essential first step to healing.
Explore and process your emotions
For the psychologist, the second step is to follow marital therapy. “Therapy provides a safe space to express feelings of hurt, anger, and loss, which can often damage self-esteem for the betrayed partner” says Mark Travers. ““It will help them fully express these emotions, while helping them rebuild their trust in others.”
Consider forgiveness
Forgiveness is the key step for the couple to find each other again. “This does not mean condoning betrayal or erasing the hurt but rather releasing resentment. analyzes the psychologist. Forgiveness must therefore come when we truly feel ready. “It should never be rushed or forced. The unfaithful partner must accept that forgiveness takes time and that it is a gift, not something to which they are entitled..
Commit to rebuilding and healing
“The journey toward rebuilding trust begins with a shared willingness of partners to engage wholeheartedly in the healing process.” says Mark Travers. “A kind of mutual dedication that will lay the foundations for lasting change.”
And the way to show that each partner values the relationship enough to invest in its recovery. “For the betrayed partner, this commitment involves a courageous decision to open up to trust again, even with the risk of being hurt again” warns the specialist. “So that means he needs to assess whether he feels ready to move forward.”.
Working on effective communication
Effective communication is essential to the healing process. “It allows partners to express their feelings, clarify their doubts and rebuild their emotional bond.”. Honesty therefore plays a central role in rebuilding trust. This transparency allows individuals to move forward without too much uncertainty.
Rebuilding trust through actions
“After infidelity, it is actions that rebuild trust, not words.” notes the expert. “This could include sharing smartphone passwords, or being transparent about one’s outside activities, for example, until trust is reestablished.”
Restoring Intimacy in Phases
“Intimacy, closely linked to trust, is often one of the most difficult aspects of recovering after infidelity. notes Mark Travers. “Thus, it must be done gradually, to allow partners to feel safe and comfortable at each stage..
The process begins with forms of intimacy that don’t involve physical relationships, like spending quality time together, engaging in deep conversations, and reconnecting emotionally. This is what will help the couple rebuild a feeling of closeness and trust, an essential basis before any more intimate connection.
Cultivate a new vision of the relationship
“Finally, over time, it will be necessary to regularly reframe the relationship“advises the psychologist.”The pain of infidelity can act as a catalyst for change, motivating partners to re-evaluate their goals, set new boundaries and develop a shared vision for the future.”
This will not erase the past, but can lay a stronger foundation in the relationship, thanks to the lessons learned. For Mark Travers, overcoming infidelity is therefore entirely possible. “And it can create a renewed bond that can be even stronger than before.” he concludes.
Slide: You and infidelity: the day you crossed the red line