Tammy Gross, mourning the recent death of her 23-year-old son, Dakota, received some unexpected healing thanks to an event organized by Chatham Hope Haven.
“It was a beautiful ceremony. It was really meaningful,” Gross said of Monday’s candlelight Affirmation of Hope memorial that honored those who died while homeless in the community.
Her son died on Dec. 24, 2021, after a battle with mental illness and addiction.
“I didn’t know what to expect,” Gross said of the ceremony, which featured music, poetry and prayer, “but I thought it was great.”
Hope Haven general manager Loree Bailey was pleased with the turnout.
“It was a really great showing,” she said, adding that having family members attend “was probably the best that I could have asked for.”
In the five years the shelter has provided a safe place for those experiencing homelessness. “many lives have touched ours and many have been lost,” Bailey said
Dakota Gross was one of two young men considered part of the Haven family who died over the Christmas holidays, which made Bailey take a step back.
“It made me think about what we do here and the impact that we are trying to have,” she said. “It made me think about the people that love those experiencing homelessness.”
Tammy Gross said she was touched by letters about her son written by other Hope Haven clients that shared how much his friends missed him and how he made people laugh.
“They made me cry, but they were just saying what I already knew about my son,” she said.
As part of the ceremony, shelter officials touched on the underlying issues that often contribute to homelessness.
“Nobody plans to be homeless. That’s not anyone’s dream,” Bailey told those gathered at the 183 Wellington St. W. shelter. “Nobody wants to endure trauma, struggle with mental health and addiction.”
“We are in the midst of a battle and like any battle, the important thing is to not give up,” Bailey said. “Lives are not lost in vain. Battle wounds run deep but they remind us that every single life is created with meaning.”
When someone dies from Chatham-Kent while homeless, Bailey said it’s critical for other residents to realize “that’s someone from your community.”
Hope Haven plans to hold candlelight vigils on the first Monday of every mont, including the next slated for March 7 at 6 pm, to remember and raise awareness.
Tammy Gross said she plans to attend as many of the upcoming vigils as she can and encourage other residents to see what it’s about.
“It’s not about knowing a person, it’s about a life lost,” she said.
Chatham County. Amy Finn, who attended the ceremony, said both her grandmother and father taught her: “You’re only as strong as you’re weakest link.
“If you’re not going to help out those that are less fortunate, then we are never going to become the great community we could be.”
A retired police officer who received provincial recognition for her community policing efforts to reach wayward youth, Finn said it’s important to remember a homeless person could be your neighbour, friend or even family.
Tammy Gross said she believes a lot more people in Chatham-Kent have a closer connection to someone experiencing homelessness than ever before.
With the impact of the opioid epidemic, she also said she feels there needs to be more immediate services available for people struggling with addictions and other issues.
“I don’t think enough people understand how much this is hurting our town.”