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Motherhood can be difficult for some young women. How can we explain that this moment of life, which should be pleasant, ends up being experienced as a real ordeal? Psychologist Shefali Tsabary puts forward two reasons for this.
Becoming a mother (or parent) is no longer as easy as it used to be. Today, women, in addition to fulfilling their role as mothers, must also take care of their home, do the shopping, work and take care of all the additional daily tasks, whether or not related to the education of their children. An increasingly heavy mental load, which leads more and more women to question their ability to be good mothers. How can we explain this situation?
Being a mother today is a more difficult task than you might think
In the podcast Open Relationships: Transforming Together, psychologist Shefali Tsabary explains why being a mother is harder these days. The first reason she gives is obvious: women, and mothers in particular, are still too often alone.
“In families, the mother is still too isolated. Even if fathers have made progress, there are still old reflexes that imply that it is up to the woman to manage everything, especially the children.“.
According to the expert, who cites an example related to school, the mother will often be the first person contacted. “Who does the teacher turn to first if there is a problem at school? The mother of course. And yet, the father may be very involved but there is still a form of conditioning which makes society spontaneously turn to the mother.”
Raising children has become complex
The other observation made by the specialist concerns the education of children. We offer too rich a range of educational methods, learning materials, but also childcare equipment for children.Raising children has become a little too complicated” adds the expert.
According to her, having so many choices available made this education, “and by extension, motherhood – too complicated. So if we want to make motherhood easier, we need to start by removing the things that make it difficult.”.
She therefore recommends “choose two options and drop everything else” She cites an example, to be clearer: “The child has only two options: play with sticks or play with rubber, that’s all. You know, balls. Yes, that’s all. There are only two options. Like we had when we were little.” she explains. The message is clear: to better enjoy motherhood, get help if possible and simplify your life.
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