Harvard psychologist Dr. Cortney S. Warren says that autonomy and trust are key to emotional safety.
Dr. Cortney S. Warren is a board-certified psychologist and received her clinical training at Harvard Medical School. She has written nearly 50 scientific journal articles. According to her, emotionally secure people are empowered, confident and comfortable in their own skin. VSA sense of personal assurance makes them better able to handle conflict, primarily because they do not seek external validation. But it takes a lot of work to get there. Here are the phrases that emotionally secure people use more than average.
- “Let me think about that before I answer.”
One of the most notable characteristics of emotionally secure people is that they are articulate. They choose their responses carefully and do not react impulsively.
Similar sentences:
“I’m really frustrated and need time for myself. I don’t want to say something I might regret later.”
“I don’t have an answer at the moment. Can we resume this conversation tomorrow?” - “No.”
Emotionally secure people feel comfortable setting boundaries. They are clear about what they will or will not do based on their own moral principles, needs and desires.
Similar sentences:
“I’m sorry, but I can’t help with this because I have too many other commitments.”
“Thanks for the offer, but it’s not something I like to do.” - “I’m not comfortable with that.”
They always communicate their needs in a respectful way. This means that they express how they feel when they are abused. If they feel pushed to their limits, they will take action to make changes.
Similar sentences:
“When you say things like that, I feel hurt and angry.”
“If you treat me like this, I’m going to walk away because it’s not healthy for me.” - “It’s who I am, and I’m proud of it.”
They are consistent in their way of acting in the world. This makes their presence predictable and reassuring because friends and loved ones know they are who they say they are.
Similar sentences:
“What you see is what you get.”
“You may not like it about me, but I’m fine with it.” - “Am I like that?”
Emotionally secure people are able to consider criticism without losing their temper. If they receive negative feedback, they don’t take it personally. On the contrary, they see it as an opportunity for personal improvement.
Similar sentences:
“I didn’t realize I did this so often. Thanks for letting me know.”
“Wow, I guess I say that phrase really often.” - “I’ll work on that.”
In meaningful relationships, emotionally secure people make the effort to change when necessary. They know that action is the key to personal growth and bond building.
Similar sentences:
“I understand this is important to you, so I’m going to work on being more compassionate when I talk to you.”
“I’m not very good at being patient. I’ll try to be less pushy.” - “I’m sorry you’re having trouble. How can I help?”
Their empathetic and non-judgmental nature in relationships makes them very supportive people. They also understand that if someone is having a bad day, it doesn’t reflect on them.
Similar sentences:
“You look upset, and I’d like to help.”
“I see it’s hard for you, but you have my support.” - “Its important to me.”
Having a strong belief system is key to being emotionally secure because it guides our choices. When a value is violated, emotionally secure people are able to stand up for what they believe is moral and right.
Similar sentences:
“I really care about this, even if you don’t.”
“I don’t think you’re acting ethically, and I can’t stand idly by in the face of what I believe is right.” - “I’ll try !”
Emotionally secure people have cultivated a sense of inner security that tells them they will be fine, even if a new effort fails. It allows them to experiment with new things, such as hobbies, friendships, travel, and even personal coping strategies.
Similar sentences:
“I’ll try that next time.”
“I may not be good at it, but I’m willing to try!”