Entering college is synonymous for many parents with a terrible dilemma: should you equip your child with a smartphone? In France, the latter receive their first mobile phone on average at the age of nine years and 9 months, according to a 2020 Médiamétrie study. And if some are equipped with basic mobiles, a significant part of these new college students inherit smartphones that can be connected to the Internet. A paradox because “parents are generally quite reluctant to this idea”, points out Axelle Desaint, director of Internet without fear which has just launched the #Bienvenueles6e awareness campaign. But they find themselves torn between conflicting interests: the desire to limit screen time and protect the child from digital risks versus the desire not to ostracize him and to give him a warning tool. Interview.
L’Express: Entering college poses a puzzle for parents: should the child be equipped with a smartphone?
Axelle Desaint: It is a real dilemma for them indeed. We recently surveyed 550 parents on these topics. 79% of them find that it is not normal for a sixth-grade child to have a smartphone. Yet, in fact, a majority of them are. When parents are asked about the reasons that ultimately guided their choice, safety issues come to mind. Because the sixth in college is often the year of the first independent journeys of the child. A simple telephone could however suffice. The child does not need to have a smartphone connected to the Internet to confirm that he has arrived. The paradox, moreover, is that a smartphone exposes the child to certain dangers. In the reasons given by the parents to explain their choices, we also observe a form of social pressure. A third of them equip their children because they think that their classmates will also and they do not want their child to be stigmatised.
A self-fulfilling prophecy in short?
Yes, it is important that they know that. It is not an obligation to equip your child. It will survive very well without!
Is there a clear right and wrong choice in this case?
Don’t blame the parents too much either. They have a freedom of choice on this subject as on many others. There is nothing foolish about asking the question of the telephone. But they have a greater variety of options than they might realize. For example, opting for a smartphone but not buying a 4G plan. The child will therefore have few opportunities to connect to the Internet when he is away from home. And clearly explain to the child why it is necessary to proceed in stages. Look at the applications with him before accepting that he installs them. In short, the issue is not so much the tool as the way in which it will be adapted to the age of the child. At 10-11 years old, we are too young to be connected to the Internet without any restrictions. In college, the child may be encouraged to watch violent or pornographic content. Even if he thinks he wants to, he does not realize the deleterious effects it has on him, his representation of the world, of love etc. You have to supervise your first steps on the Internet.
What protections should be put in place before eventually providing them with a first smartphone?
Very often, the phone offered to them is an old device from one of the family members. The first thing to do is to make sure that old applications and files that would not be suitable for his age have been deleted and to equip the device with a parental control tool explaining to the child why this is is necessary. It is then necessary to control the screen time by limiting it or by operating a regular follow-up of the durations spent on each application. A smartphone is an addictive device. We adults have already had a hard time resisting him. You can’t ask children to self-regulate. They need benchmarks and a framework.
The second major issue is the protection of their personal data. Because when they enter college, the social relationships of children will evolve. They will often find themselves in class discussion groups on social networks even if they are not of the required age. And they are not always aware that content shared on it escapes us forever. It can easily be transferred, captured, republished… The third major subject is cyberbullying, which one in five children has already faced. You have to talk to your children about it, explain to them that it happens, that you have to dare to talk about it if they are witnesses or victims. Act from the first mockery, from the first situation that makes you uncomfortable, from the first inappropriate or violent comment. Many parents do not measure the magnitude of the digital upheaval that entering sixth grade represents. It’s a real boost, a “digital puberty”.
On your site, you recall that more than 50% of children aged 8 to 11 have a TikTok account (Editor’s note: Thémis 2021 study). How to explain such a high percentage?
The platforms have not yet implemented real age verification measures, so they just have to lie. Some consult TikTok without having an account. Others are registered, sometimes with the consent of their parents. In some cases, it is the parents who advise their children to lie about their age, thinking that they will thus be less exposed to sexual predators. But on the contrary, it is important to enter the correct age group, because the platforms have still taken measures to further protect minors. If they register as an adult, the sites will push adult content and advertisements to them that they wouldn’t offer them otherwise.
What digital risks should children and adolescents be made aware of today?
Privacy and consent are major topics that should be addressed sooner. Intimacy is very challenged by social networks. It is not easy to define the borders and to measure the extent to which what we share escapes us. Today, sharing intimate photos is part of the codes of seduction. In a benevolent universe, that wouldn’t be a problem. In the real world, yes. Young people tend to think that sharing this type of content is a must. It is important to dismantle this idea.
And to make them understand the importance of not forcing a person to share intimate content and not to distribute it without their consent. From the age of 13, they also have criminal liability and we see more and more minors convicted for this type of act. The question of predators, meanwhile, has always existed, but in the digital sphere, the attack surface is much wider. Finally, it is important to educate both boys and girls about online risks. The strategies that target them are not always exactly the same: boys are more exposed to blackmail on the webcam where a fake girl profile encourages them to masturbate in front of the camera to extort money from them and girls dissemination of intimate images. But, basically, they are very similar issues.