The coronavirus pandemic, which has spread all over the world, has led to people being locked in their homes, closing the borders and economic instability. In recent days, the measures have almost completely disappeared, but the psychological effects of the pandemic still continue. Not to mention the news of war and price hikes that appeared on the screens after Russia’s invasion of Ukraine.
It’s not easy to watch the trend and not worry. However, there are some things that can be done to stay happy even during stressful and difficult times.
The world of emotions is extremely complex, but at the same time one of the most studied areas.
BBC Future has talked to many psychology experts around the world over the years and got their opinions on ways to better cope with stress. We recently scanned the research on this topic. Here are some tips for staying happy no matter what, some of which will surprise you.
1. Distract yourself
It’s easy to get hung up on the pandemic, war, or whatever it is that’s stressing you out, and get into a thinking cycle over and over again.
But if you distract yourself by focusing on something else instead of thinking about a recent stressful event, it can help lower your blood pressure.
2. Remember that meditation is not good for everyone
There are many who find meditation helpful during difficult times. For some it is not good at all. The reason is that it can trigger the tendency to think long and hard about stressful situations described above.
While trying to empty the mind, stressful thoughts can fill that empty mind.
Perhaps this is why the findings on the benefits of meditation are perhaps not so conclusive.
It may be recommended for those who have difficulty in emptying their minds to focus on a subject other than meditation.
3. Take a different look at the situation
How we frame our emotions also affects the way we interpret them.
Derren Brown gives an example of a tennis player who thinks “I need to win” when playing a game, while describing what he discusses in his book Happy (Happy), published in 2017. When you look at it as ‘winning is everything’, losing can make you feel very worthless.
This is a trap that perfectionists often fall into, and that’s why they feel more guilt, shame, and anger when they think they haven’t succeeded. Even the odds of giving up may be higher because of this.
If the player who came into the game saying “I will do my best” really did this, he wouldn’t suffer so much when he lost. How the failure is interpreted depends on the expectations of the two players from them.
It’s worth considering how this can be applied to everyday life: Instead of focusing on something beyond your control like “I won’t get sick, I can’t”, you can try to do your best by saying “I will follow hygiene rules, I will keep social distance”.
The keyword here is control. Stressful situations are often caused by circumstances beyond our control, and the more we try to control them, the more we get bored and anxious. However, focusing on the things that can be controlled can reduce anxiety.
4. Don’t obsess about positive thinking or happiness
This may sound a bit counterintuitive, but trying to think positively can cause the opposite. So is the pursuit of happiness. One of the reasons is that the more we think about our own happiness, the less we think about the happiness of others. This can make us feel disconnected and isolated from people.
There is also a connection between trying to be happy and feeling like time is running out.
If you focus on an outcome, “I need to be happy,” as in the previous example, you may feel even worse when you fail to achieve success. However, in stressful times, it is perfectly natural to have difficulty feeling happy.
By focusing on the little things that bring us happiness every day, we can feel better.
5. Focus on the little things
So instead of trying to be happy, it can be said that it is better to focus on the little things that make us happy.
Sandi Mann, author of Ten Minutes to Happiness, is a lecturer at the University of Central Lancashire in England. Mann recommends keeping a diary. Its strategy is based on “positive psychology”. Positive psychology is a branch of psychology based on the principle that focusing on the little things that bring us happiness every day can improve mood.
Mann says answering the following six questions can help us find happiness. And it only takes 10 minutes to do this:
1. What experiences, however mundane, did you enjoy?
2. What kind of compliments or comments have you received?
3. What were the moments when you were just lucky?
4. What were your achievements, albeit small ones?
5. What are you grateful for?
6. How did you express your good feelings?
Keeping a short diary in which you will write the answers to these has two benefits. Writing helps you remember the little things that bring you happiness. It also creates an archive where everything that made you happy in the past is recorded and you can think about it for the future.
6. Do the cleaning, tidy the house
When you can’t leave the house, take this opportunity to clean. The crowded and messy house makes it difficult to focus on the work to be done. Especially if you’re going to be working from home like during the pandemic, tidying up can help you do your job better.
It is said that there is a connection between a messy bedroom and difficulty sleeping, and between a messy kitchen and making unhealthy choices like reaching for junk food.
If you’re going to spend more time at home, it’s worth tidying up your living space.
But sorting things may not be good for everyone. Those who like to hoard may be powered by the presence of certain items. For such people, tidying up can activate parts of the brain that process pain.
7. Balance the impact of social media
Social media may seem full of bad news, but it’s an important medium for many to conduct relationships with friends and loved ones.
Keeping your phone out of your bedroom or limiting your screen time can help offset the negative effects of social media.
8. Get out of the city
If you live in the city, another thing to do is to leave for a short time.
The rate of demoralization among the people living in the city is quite high. But a waterscape or a clear blue sky can fix that.
According to an article written in 2016, even if the rate of ‘blueness’ you see increases by only 20 or 30 percent, your stress average can drop to a lower level.
Interestingly, green areas do not have the same effect, so it is better to choose the seaside instead of going to the countryside.
The next time you start worrying about the world, consider taking some of these steps instead of re-thinking what worries you, constantly checking the news on social media, or meditating, if not for everyone. Remember: it’s up to us to shape emotions.