At any age, your child can be confronted with different anxieties which, sometimes, escape you. So, if you’ve already wondered what could harass him, that’s what should help you see more clearly.
Children, too, are stressed and concerned. Although these concerns differ from ours, they are indeed real and can have a significant impact on their well-being. As parents, it is therefore essential to analyze the source of these anxieties, in order to be able to provide them with the most suitable support. The therapists Ashley Graber and Maria Evans, coaches in parenting, reveal today what concerns them most and how to deal with them effectively.
For many children, the school is the number one source in stress. Ashley Graber and Maria Evans underline that “Children often feel pressure related to academic results, homework and exams, sometimes more by themselves than by their parents.” Certain situations, such as a too difficult duty or a surprise, can even cause a form of perfectionism paralyzing their motivation. This is why parents must remain attentive to the signs – a refusal to go to school or a persistent fear of failure are generally good indicators.
In addition, whether through their classmates or their family relationships, children constantly seek to be accepted. Unfortunately, this quest can also push them to feel inadequate. The fear of not corresponding to the standards of their group or of being judged can cause additional stress, amplifying the feelings of loneliness or isolation. According to the two experts, “Social networks aggravate these concerns by highlighting organized lives, thus amplifying the feeling of inadequacy”.
In addition, an argument between parents or a change of habits at home may be enough to worry them. Specialists explain that “When there are tensions at home, children blame themselves. They tend to be more anxious.” They then feel responsible and each tension in their home means a threat to their safety. Without forgetting that “DE many children develop a fear of specific things, such as insects, planes or black … And these fears generally take the form of questions of the type ‘and if?’ “, explain the two coaches, adding that these fears “Sometimes reflect deeper concerns concerning, there too, security and vulnerability”.
Experts advise parents to listen to the emotions of their children. This involves acceptance of their feelings, even when they seem irrational. Tell them that their fears are valid and that it is normal to feel stress helps them to feel understood and supported. Also, showing a calm and rational behavior in the face of stressful events allows them to acquire skills to manage their own anxieties. For example, share your methods with them to overcome your difficulties, whether it is a great inspiration, to practice a soothing activity or to play down a situation. Thus, they integrate strategies adapted to their daily life. Ashley Graber and Maria Evans conclude that “Parents must also learn to listen to without always trying to give quick solutions.”