They have everything to be happy but no, it’s not okay. A psychologist explains where this permanent negativity can come from (and annoying for those around them).
It is customary to distinguish two main categories of people: those who always see glass half-sides (these are the pessimists), and those who always see the glass half (these are the optimists). We will focus here on the first of them. We all know a person of a foolproof pessimism. For her, nothing is going, nothing is ever enough. Where does this mode of operation come from, often weighing for those around? Pascal Anger’s answers, psychologist in Paris.
Seeing the Half Videe glass is a characteristic specific to pessimism. The pessimist takes life on the wrong side and never finds any reason to rejoice. He has a negative vision of the world and himself, everything is a pretext to complain and grind black. “The pessimist is limited to all levels because he feels each time in a dead end and cannot get out of it. He is afraid of the past and the future, and has trouble seeing how the present could be positive for him “ describes our interlocutor. This personality trait is often linked to the way we were educated.
Indeed, if our parents have continued to repeat to us that we were “zero in math”, “good for nothing”, “never happy”, “lazy”, and that we could “do better”, we have Integrated these negative sentences which have become real beliefs. Since our parents, who are supposed to love us, protect us and want the best to think that of us is that it must be true. “In the same way, the parents themselves often have this tendency to see the glass half-live and transmit this vision of life to their offspring”completes the psychologist.
In this context, it is very complicated to decondition once adult. This pessimism is sometimes so anchored in the individual that he can make him sink into depression. As he does not trust him, he will each time go towards negative. “There are also most certainly unconscious secondary benefits to seeing the glass half-live. Indeed, pessimism is a way to be complained and attracting attention”he notes.
That said, there is no fatality. To get rid of his pessimism, Pascal Anger suggests learning to detect the hidden opportunity behind each test. “The important thing is to give meaning to what happens to us, to try to derive benefits and not to fall into the trap of going to murderous sentences like” I missed everything In my life “,” I suck “, which will prevent us from going towards positive. If that is not enough, brief therapies like behavioral and cognitive therapies (TCC) can help change events”finally suggests the specialist.