“We receive a lot of things as an inheritance” recalls our psychologist.
Childhood is a pivotal period in the construction and development of an individual. The family home is a miniature society in which the way the parents operate conditions the behavior and attitudes of the children. Whether the family model is peaceful, fragile or toxic, what we grow up and evolve in will inevitably have an influence on our life.
“Dealing with the psychological suffering of a father or mother is never trivial for someone under construction. This creates insecurity and sometimes a desire to help this sick parent.” explains Maïté Tranzer, clinical psychologist. “Being too “parentified”, captive to distress or drowned in family stress ultimately leads to an imbalance within the family system.” There can be a lot of unspoken words and taboos around mental health, which will reinforce the imbalance and encourage conflicts and resentment.
“Above all, there may be an unconscious genetic transmission of depression. We inherit many things: a person who grew up with a depressed parent can “inherit” this gene and have a tendency toward pessimism and negativity.underlines the psychologist. Without realizing it, we will absorb their negative energy and in turn succumb to darker thoughts. This propensity towards negativity can be compared to a fault.
Fortunately, this is not a necessary step for everyone who grew up with a parent who suffered depression or emotional suffering. “This will depend on our ability to dissociate our parents’ feelings from our own, to find an objective view of ourselves without being in a self-judgment situation.” until you completely free yourself from it. This introspective work also involves a form of gratitude and self-evaluation to recondition your brain to turn things towards the positive, break automatic patterns and get out of your reading prism.
Those around us, other than parents, also have a role to play: support from the non-depressed parent, good relationships with brothers and sisters or other members of the family, the friendly sphere or recourse to a health professional (doctor of family, psychologist, etc.) can help.