“We live in a society where there is a sort of injunction to love Christmas.”
For many, Christmas is a sweet and magical time, synonymous with sharing and reunions with family. For others, we are far from magic and a pleasant party. “For me, it’s nothing but a time of year that tugs at my heart“, tells us Colette, 64 years old. Like 30% of French people (Taskrabbit survey for Ikea stores), this divorced and recently retired woman dreads the December festivities every year…
“We live in a society where there is a sort of injunction to love Christmas and the whole package that goes with it: the films, the songs, the gifts, the logs… It is also very complicated to escape everything That. I live in the city center and my living room window overlooks the lights and the big fir tree on the market square. This year, they even relocated the Christmas market to my house. I see it as a playfulness of the Universe“, she quips. For the record, her best friend is called Noëlle…”I prefer to call her “Nono”, but she hates…“However, Colette’s disenchantment with Christmas was not always present.”30 years ago, when I was a young mother, I was excited by the energy of Christmas and I loved organizing a big meal on New Year’s Eve with my two daughters. I was one of those people who decorated the facade, thought about the shopping list a month in advance and made a pretty festive table. There were usually 4-5 of us at the table but we had a good time, without fuss“, she remembers.
But the years have passed, and now this time of year reminds her of how far she and her two daughters have grown apart physically and emotionally. “My eldest daughter lives hundreds of miles away and now spends Christmas with her in-laws. My second is closer, but she is a nurse and still working on December 25th. Besides, I’ve stopped asking them what they’re planning for Christmas because I know I’m going to encounter awkward discussions and refusals. We usually see each other a few weeks later and give each other our gifts.” Colette certainly has friends, but she has no desire to impose herself on families that are not theirs. Same thing for her partner whom she prefers to leave with her children born from a previous union. “I prefer to fade away like a shadow and wait for it to pass. And generally, from December 26, things get better“.
On Christmas Eve, his program is simple “exactly the same as April 4 or October 12“, she jokes. “I’m a bit of a maniac so after a rather simple meal in front of a TV show, I like to tidy up and clean my house. The kitchen must be impeccable, that’s my rule. I wipe down the worktops, making sure nothing is lying around. It may seem futile, but keeping order calms me down and takes my mind off things. In this emotional chaos that is Christmas for me, it’s a way of holding on to something concrete.” Colette doesn’t even wait until midnight to go to bed: “I’m an early bird, I’m not going to fight against my fatigue to fit into the mold.” “It may seem bitter, but I feel at peace with this melancholy. I am learning to live with it. Maybe one day things will change. But for now, Christmas is just a moment to pass, an “emotional” wave to go through while waiting for life to return to normal.“.