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Over time, your child’s personality is shaped. But most parents secretly hope not to see a particular trait assert itself. A child psychologist reveals which one.
As your children grow up they acquire a personality of their own. Between what you have been able to transmit to them and their daily learning, they gradually reveal qualities… and some faults too. But one personality trait in particular could be giving you trouble, which is why many parents fear it.
When frustration becomes a problem
This trait, although common, is the fact of being intolerant of frustration, when a child cannot tolerate the slightest disappointment and thinks that everything is due to him. A behavior that is common during early childhood (when your child rolls on the ground for a piece of candy or a ball!) but which can continue and increase during adolescence. In this case, the growing child may become flippant and contemptuous when someone does not go his way.
Later in life, this can also result in reactive adults, capable of causing a scandal over the slightest mistake or forcing those around them to constantly adapt to their decisions.
Learn to manage your frustration from a young age
You will have understood that if frustration is completely normal, not trying at all to manage it on a daily basis can lead to a narcissistic personality, which is explained by Becky Kennedy, a child psychologist, on Instagram.
“The feeling of entitlement is called intolerance of uncomfortable feelings. Children who seem entitled to everything act as if they shouldn’t have to experience things like frustration or disappointment.”
And whether you want to please your child, offer them what you can, one thing is certain “none of us ‘want’ to raise children who have all the rights”, summarizes the psychologist. So how to do it? Fortunately, as the expert says, this trait is also reversible, and can fade or disappear with a few adjustments and parental involvement:
“We can turn everyday interactions into valuable lessons designed to foster respect, kindness, and tolerance for frustration, rather than entitlement, in our children.”
Teaching them to understand and manage their frustration with a new toy is undoubtedly a more valuable gift than buying it, to ease the crisis.
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