No more being fooled.
“I’ll be there in 5 minutes”, “Your cake is delicious”… We all say a harmless little lie from time to time. It is more serious, however, when it is used to create an identity. Here we are talking about pathological lying. “It’s about distinguishing truth and authenticity. A person who is a pathological liar will not be authentic. They will use language for a utilitarian purpose”explains Nicolas Delorme, clinical psychologist. “The pathological liar ensures a semblance of continuity in existence, but completely artificial. Lying will be used to ensure his survival.” The pathological liar is thus incapable of maintaining authentic relationships with others, which is why it is important to detect him.
The causes leading to pathological lying are still unclear but “we know that something happens at the moment of awareness of identity and access to language during childhood”continues the clinical psychologist. Pathological lying is also linked to narcissistic disorder, which results in an extreme need for recognition, accompanied by a lack of empathy. “The lie seeks to fill something in existence, but it fills in an inauthentic way, in a process which alters the link to the other.” Pathological liars can lie to anyone about anything (their daily life, their private life, their professional life). “They are fully aware of the process of deception they are putting in place. Everyone is caught in their web of lies” says our expert.
To recognize a pathological liar, you must look in his speech “an inauthentic, caricatured character, a bit like bad theater”enlightens us Nicolas Delorme. Generally, our instinct makes us feel that something is wrong, because the liar’s behavior calls out. He is very attached to insignia and other symbols of power, for example a surgeon’s coat. “Badges allow you to attach yourself to something that gives you an identity, particularly a professional identity.” Thus, the liar can invent a prestigious profession, claim to have grown up in another country or even to have experienced disasters or events known to the general public.
The pathological liar is not subtle. On the contrary, he does everything to impress. Open your ears if someone systematically tells you the same improbable stories. For example, if she says this sentence to you; “Have I ever told you about the time I survived that famous accident?” He might also tell you: “I became friends with this celebrity and traveled a lot with them” or “I won this prestigious award for my career.”
You will have understood, the lies of the pathological liar are excessive, exaggerated and constant. His stories may be punctuated with extended, unrequested details or slight changes through telling. The best thing is to move away from this person to protect yourself because “therapy is very difficult to implement on people who are pathological liars” warns our expert.