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Are you worried that your partner is unfaithful? Certain everyday signs can sometimes alert you. Behavior expert reveals 4 explicit signals.
Lipstick on the shirt or an unknown perfume, in films, the signs of deception are often caricatured. But unless you come across physical proof, it can be difficult to know if your intuition is correct. What to do if you doubt your other half? Bhavna Raithatha, psychotherapist and behavioral expert, discusses in the Daily Mail four explicit changes you may have missed.
They don’t leave you… quite the contrary
It is often wrongly thought that an unfaithful person would lose all interest in having sexual relations with their usual partner, since they find them elsewhere, or that they would avoid their partner. “But this is not always the case“, explains Ms. Raithatha.
“Intimacy is both physical and emotional. What you share with your partner is very sacred. However, with an affair there is an increased libido, and cheaters, who may temporarily feel guilty, often redirect this increased libido toward their current partner“.
Thus, a partner who increases his sexual desires without explanation could in reality be seeking to compensate for infidelity. Conversely, a once-flourishing intimate life that suddenly collapses can also be a telltale sign. “In men in particular, a form of erectile dysfunction can arise because the emotion is simply no longer there“. In this case, the person will suddenly find all kinds of good excuses to avoid sex… by being “loyal” to a new person.
They’re glued to their phones…even more than usual
Today, it is difficult to define what excessive phone use is, since everyone is frequently addicted to it. However, unfaithful partners tend to be even more absorbed by their screen. “If they spend so much time on their smartphone that they no longer pay attention to you, that should start ringing alarm bells.“, says Bhavna Raithatha, especially if that phone seems to be becoming more important… than you!
“The real telltale sign is a sudden change in behavior, like hiding your phone or adding extra security measures.“. Also be wary if your partner, once a fan of the loudspeaker, starts whispering their conversations.
They catch on very quickly
The expert reveals another explicit behavior: a tendency to aggressiveness at the slightest pretext. Unfaithful partners often display angry behavior due to a feeling of “distance and detachment” within them.
“In reality, if your partner becomes difficult, it’s a way of protecting themselves, because they don’t want to be found out. It’s his secret. He knows there will be repercussions if he is exposed“However, Ms Raithatha warns that some, when cornered, can become almost physically aggressive. Don’t let the situation escalate: talk about it.
They are gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that causes the victim to doubt their memory and emotions, constantly questioning their feelings. For the expert, this technique is commonly used in the context of extramarital affairs, thus allowing the infidel to project his own guilt onto the other.
“They are the ones in the wrong for having an affair, but they blame you. They put you under the microscope“. As a result, they may say things like, “Oh, you smell nice, you dress nice. Who is it for?”, subtly accusing you, then repeating these insinuations frequently.”They will even go so far as to accuse you in public, for example at a restaurant, in front of your friends. They sow doubt in front of everyone, feeding the crowd with lies“.
Behavior of this type can sow confusion in the person being deceived, who then feels scrutinized and wrongly judged. If your partner suddenly accuses you of doing them wrong, it might be time to ask yourself: Isn’t he the one cheating on you?
What to do if you have suspicions?
In any case, if you have suspicions of infidelity, don’t let yourself be overwhelmed by doubt, guilt or low self-esteem. It’s best to approach your doubts openly, express how you feel, and act on the information you gather.
Slide: 10 signs that prove you are dealing with a serial cheater