unsaveSave
She is often asked why? The answer is that Ellen Sandberg is looking for the perfect feeling.
Compulsively, she has plucked her eyebrows and eyelashes with tweezers.
– When I could no longer use the tweezers, I started picking the hair with my hands, she says.
Ellen Sandberg is 25 years old and really completely uninterested in make-up. But today she jokingly calls herself a professional makeup artist.
It goes quickly when Ellen has to glue on false eyelashes. It’s no longer a struggle to paint your eyebrows like siblings instead of cousins.
– I have plucked and torn out my own hair, so I have had to learn how to put make-up on it again, she says.
expand-left
full screen
chevron-rightnext
Ellen Sandberg talks about her struggle with OCD.
1 / 2Photo: Private
“Began to operate with forceps”
Already during Ellen’s early teenage years, the OCD manifested itself. She began to perform compulsive rituals – especially when she would shower for several hours.
– I felt bad and didn’t go to school much. But I certainly didn’t go to school on Fridays. Then I spent the morning showering, laying out all the products in special ways and shaving my legs. I occupied the bathroom for hours.
When she turned 15, she was diagnosed with OCD, ADHD and autism. But it wasn’t until college that the tweezers became central to Ellen’s life, which also TTela reported on.
– I found my thing: plucking hair with tweezers. I almost started operating on myself so that I got wounds on my body, she says, shaking her head.
expand-left
full screen Photo: Private
Tweezers were replaced with fingers
When Ellen moved away from home in 2022, one of her parents’ conditions was that she could not own a pair of tweezers.
– So then I started picking with my fingers. Within two months, I had torn off almost all the hair on my head.
She falls silent for a short moment before continuing:
– I still had some hair on the back of my neck, so I looked like the janitor in Harry Potter. It really wasn’t a look, says Ellen Sandberg and giggles.
What makes you want to pull and tear your hair out?
– Many people have asked that over the years. I can’t put into words why, other than I’m looking for the perfect feeling. That it should feel right and good in my body.
expand-left
full screen Photo: Private
Uses a wig
Since graduation, Ellen has been so unwell that she has been unable to work or study. Recently, she has started training in a second-hand shop.
During the sessions, she usually wears a wig.
– I feel more comfortable and less exposed when I use the wig.
expand-left
full screen Photo: Private
But even with a wig, she can sometimes feel that people are staring.
– Then I’m quite aware that to the extent that people look, it’s mostly in my head.
Ellen slowly strokes a hand over her head and says that everyday life is permeated by the diagnoses.
– Most days I think life feels dark. It feels worst when I’ve washed off my make-up and am about to go to bed. Almost every day I struggle with suicidal and dark thoughts.
How do you see the future? Do you think you will recover from the diagnoses?
– I don’t know. I try not to think about the future. I feel best dealing with life day by day and seeing the light in what is here and now.
expand-left
full screen Photo: Private
FACTS Trichotillomania and dermatillomania
Trichotillomania and dermatillomania are two similar diagnoses.
Trichotillomania means that a person pulls out their hair from their body.
Dermatillomania involves the person picking off skin from the body, causing wounds and scars.
Some people feel the urge to pick or jerk – while others don’t notice they’re doing it.
There is support and care for those who live with or think they live with trichotillomania and dermatillomania.
If you are under the age of 18, you must seek care from a child and youth psychiatrist. Adults are encouraged to contact a health center or adult psychiatry in their region.
Source: BUP and Region Stockholm.
Read more
expand-left
full screen