In blended families, tensions sometimes arise between the children and the mother-in-law or father-in-law. If in some cases time does its work, in others, the situation can get worse… Testimony.
Getting your bearings within a blended family is rarely easy. Between new roles to define, adjustments to make, and often contradictory expectations, it is not always easy to find your place as a step-parent. Without forgetting the tensions that can arise with children. They may feel jealousy or anger at the arrival of a mother-in-law or father-in-law. In general, the adult must navigate between involvement and discretion, so as not to encroach on the relationship between the spouse and their children, while still succeeding in creating a relationship with them.
But it sometimes happens that despite the efforts made, cohabitation goes badly, to the point of considering leaving. This is the case for Annie who confided in our “Family and in-laws” forum about her stepson who she can’t stand. This mother of a teenage girl rebuilt her life with a man, who was already the father of a boy. Together, they had a child, except that their family life is not what they had imagined. “We are exasperated and spectators of the circus that happens at home and outside when my stepson is there every other week. He constantly draws attention to himself. He sucks our energy, and spends his time playing the victims, his father, in denial, systematically defends him. she explains to us.
Over time, tensions arise, which ends up triggering big arguments between Annie, her partner and her stepson. “I am exhausted, even at the end of my rope, and I am telling myself that I have to leave, because I am not supported and I never will be”she explains. For her, her partner makes no effort and puts her son on a pedestal. He is indifferent and above all “he is very harsh with my children, especially with my daughter who has suffered a lot while his eldest son has all the rights. I even noticed that there was secrecy, lies and criticism that had been said, and the worst thing is that it makes differences between children.”
Yet Annie has so far taken it upon herself. She even invested a lot in making their blended family work, and has done so for seven long years. Unfortunately, today she feels at an impasse: what to do, choose or continue? For the moment, she has decided not to say anything anymore and to no longer get involved in the education of her stepson…