Published on
updated on
Reading 4 min.
in collaboration with
Johanna Rozenblum (clinical psychologist)
Serge, 20 years old, has just arrived in Paris. But as his loneliness weighs on him, he posts a TikTok video about his situation. Having become viral, his message will turn his life upside down. A story that highlights the little-known harms of loneliness on health.
Loneliness is an illness that plagues millions of people in France. There are different reasons that explain this situation: a move, difficulties in maintaining friendships, an introverted character… For Serge it was his move to Paris which isolated him. New in this big city, he is unable to make new friends and his loneliness weighs on him.
A TikTok message seen more than two million times
In his situation, the young man tells himself that he has nothing to lose by posting a video on TikTok. His message will quickly go viral and will be viewed two million times. “Hello everyone. Let me introduce myself, my name is Serge, I am 20 years old. I just arrived in Paris and I’m making this video (because) I feel very alone.”
In his video, barely a minute long, we can see the young man with tears in his eyes. “I would like to make friends, nice acquaintances because then it becomes complicated to be alone” he explains. “I make music, I take photos, I love the 60s, 70s and 80s, (the film) La Boum. I’m just looking to make friends who are passionate, who are kind, who are willing to be friends with someone new.” Before explaining that he “no longer (knows) how we make friends”: “It’s horrible, I miss being little!” the young man exclaims again.
A meeting with around sixty people, near the Louvre
While he posted this message on Wednesday evening, after a “slack”, the next day, he was preparing to delete it, for fear that people would “make fun of him”. It was there that he realized that he had actually received several thousand kind messages. The next day, he posted another thank you message.
“I didn’t expect to receive so many messages, it touches me enormously. I have received hundreds or even thousands of messages. I see that it’s not just me in this situation and that makes me sad “.
He then suggests a meeting in Paris for “all the people who feel alone” on Saturday October 12 at the Louvre museum at 2 p.m. “I wasn’t expecting anything when I went there with my headphones on. When a wave of people came to meet me, I understood that people had really come.” evokes Serge this Sunday at the microphone of BFM. About sixty people responded to his call.
What are the consequences of loneliness?
According to the latest data published by the Fondation de Francethere are 11 million people suffering from loneliness in the country, or 20% of the population aged over fifteen.
A phenomenon that we tend to minimize, but loneliness is a growing scourge, particularly in large cities, and can have significant consequences on an individual’s health, as Johanna Rozenblum, clinical psychologist, reminds us.
“Loneliness can lead to significant psychological effects, such as depressionanxiety, and a decrease inself-esteem. People who feel isolated may develop sleep disorders and feel a stress increased, which affects their general well-being” explains the expert.
“Sometimes these effects lead to self-destructive behaviors or difficulty creating social relationships, reinforcing the cycle of isolation” she also warns.
For the expert, it is therefore essential to break it. “Having a close entourage helps you feel supported, understood and valued, which strengthens emotional well-being. Quality relationships provide comfort in the face of challenges, reduce stress and improve resilience.” she adds.
And the consequences are not just psychological. Thus, Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, Director General of the WHO declared in 2023 that “High rates of social isolation and loneliness around the world have serious consequences for health and well-being. People who do not have enough close social connections are at greater risk of stroke, anxiety, dementia, depression, suicide and many other illnesses“.
Indeed, previous studies have linked loneliness to an increased risk of mortality. In 2017, two meta-analyses presented at the annual convention of the American Psychological Association, in Washington. had estimated that loneliness would kill at least as much as obesity.
Good in his body, good in his head!
Paradoxically, while we would imagine higher education as a shield against loneliness, it is the youngest who say they suffer from it the most, like Serge.
In a survey carried out by Ifop for Goodflair and FLASHS on the occasion of World Loneliness Day, which takes place every year on January 23, we learn that 9% of those questioned are considered isolated and that this feeling concerns 62% of 18-24 year olds. To no longer abandon these people in their solitude, initiatives are carried out each year by associations such as those which organize ‘solidarity awakenings’.
If you feel lonely, try getting involved in activities (volunteer or not) or participating in reading clubs, walking clubs or engaging in a sporting activity: this is still the easiest way to meet people. people who have the same interests as you. Because as Johanna Rozenblum reminds us, “theSocial contact stimulates the release of hormones such asoxytocinwhich promotes happiness and reduces anxiety“.
Slide: 30 quotes about friendship