Published on
updated on
Reading 3 min.
We call a dressing relationship the relationship which follows a great story and which would serve to “heal” gently. But is this new encounter necessarily intended to dry your tears, before being thrown away? Experts respond.
You met the perfect man, but he just got divorced? Or have you just left a relationship yourself and don’t know what you can give the next time you meet? It’s true that the notion of a “band-aid” relationship that we see in many comedies is common: the theory is that after a long relationship, we throw ourselves into other arms to mourn and move on. . But is the “next” person doomed to never matter? It depends on several factors.
Ask yourself already if this is really a band-aid relationship
A “rebound” relationship is inherently reactionary. It comes at a time when, instead of working through the consequences of a past relationship, you are embarking on a new relationship. “But it’s not like we erase our heads and forget about each other.” defines Nikki Coleman, psychologist and relationship expert in the magazine Huffpost “In a real relationship, both parties have decided to be committed to each other. When you’re no longer together, you take that with you. The question is what you do with that information.”
According to her, if you do the work to learn from your mistakes in your past relationship and take responsibility for the role you played in things failing, it doesn’t have to be a Band-Aid relationship. The following relationship can be made to simply prove to yourself that you are desirable, but can also be built on solid desires depending on the stage you are at.
Put your feet up and ask yourself the right questions
It is common when meeting new suitors to ask how their past relationships ended. So, when a person speaks very positively about their ex or is overcome with anger, it can be a sign that the wounds have not yet healed. If you are that person, “ask yourself why you’re dating someone new”, indicates Elizabeth Earnshaw, marriage and family therapist to the media. “Is it by afraid of being alone or because you are avoiding feelings, or is it because you want to get to know her and are really invested in the relationship?” evokes the expert. A question that can also be returned if the other person is newly single. In short, take stock.
If you feel like you’re in a rebound relationship, also be honest about it with the person you’re dating. Tell him that you’re worried that one of you isn’t ready to date because you haven’t moved on. “It’s about being curious and expressing what you’ve noticed without being accusatory. But then you have to be ready to hear their response, both in words and in deeds.”
Give yourself and the other person time to heal and grow
Finally, if the other person really isn’t ready to date, don’t force them. “But there are no hard and fast rules that say the bandage has to be ripped off.” still emphasizes Elizabeth Earnshaw. For a real relationship to flourish, “both parties must be willing to do the work, which usually requires a great deal of vulnerability,” continues the psychologist. “You have to decide as a unit that you are going to do things differently.” and it may take time.
Examine your past relationships to see what went wrong. What conflicts arose repeatedly? Were there things that made you and your ex not compatible? How can you improve your communication skills in this new relationship? It is also essential that everyone involved learns to deal with loneliness, and each person must form their own identity outside of the romantic relationship by relying on family and friends for support.
Sometimes rebounds tend to work themselves out
If a relationship isn’t meant to last because one person hasn’t gotten over their ex, there’s also a good chance that it will resolve naturally. Someone will say “I feel better now, and I’m not really interested in this relationship, so I’m going to end it.”t the relationship will end. But that’s not inevitable: sometimes things don’t start out perfectly,”but a relationship can be made of respect and self-awareness”indicate the experts.
If you both put in the work, these relationships can flourish as well. “We may have a general idea of the best ways to form and end relationships, but every relationship is unique.”finally concludes Nikki Coleman. Even a relationship that starts as a fling can turn into something more serious.
Slide: 10 signs your relationship will last