Published on
updated on
Reading 4 min.
Being happy can be learned. At least you can teach your children to look on the bright side of life and make the most of their day. How to do it? A clinical psychologist delivers 11 simple questions that make them think and instill a little happiness in their daily lives.
Are you naturally carefree and happy? If so, it’s probably due to a mix of your genes and your lifestyle choices. But according to psychology, happiness is not simply luck, or the fact of being born with a good fairy above your cradle. This can play a role, but it is also and above all a positive vision of life to maintain on a daily basis. A way of perceiving things. There would therefore be mechanisms promoting happiness that you can pass on to your children. In the magazine Your TangoSamantha Rodman White, clinical psychologist, shares 11 questions to ask your children to help them see the bright side of life.
What was your favorite part of the day?
This is a good question to ask at bedtime, to help your child feel satisfied and happy before bed. “It also instills in him the habit of focusing on the best thing that happened to him that day rather than the worst.” indicates the psychologist. If you make this step part of your bedtime routine, it will become second nature.
Who or what would you like to say thank you to today?
This is a good question (quite American though) to ask at the table for example. Each family member can take turns saying what they are grateful for that day. Studies conducted by Harvard Medical School show that there is a strong correlation between happiness and gratitude.
What are you going to do to fix this problem?
When a child comes to you with a problem, do not rush to solve it, but ask him this question in a warm and curious tone. “This at least gives him a chance to solve his problem on his own and an opportunity to show him your confidence in him.” underlines the expert. The very question implies that he can find solutions to his problems.
If your child answers “I don’t know”you can answer him “I’m not sure either, let’s try to find a solution together.”. “Happy people are those who see problems as surmountable and who see themselves as effective people in solving them.”.
How do you think he (or she) feels?
In any situation, you can cultivate empathy by asking your child to question how another person feels. “Empathy will make your child happier; he will have stronger interpersonal relationships, feel better about himself or thinking about others (and often helping them) and he will find more meaning in his life.
And what do you feel?
Likewise, the simple fact of knowing how to express one’s emotions contributes to happiness. “If you can verbalize what you’re feeling, you can make sense of it, process it, and gain support from others.” writes Samantha Rodman White. This teaches your child to be aware of their feelings and use that information effectively.
In any situation, even the most unpleasant ones, you can teach your child that there are positive aspects. Doing it regularly will teach your children not to get stuck on the difficulty. “It’s called making lemonade out of a lemon.” explains the psychologist. “It could be, ‘You fell and got hurt, but you have a superhero bandage and a story to tell.'” she illustrates.
What more can we learn about this topic?
Happy people are generally curious. In any TV show, in any book, or in any situation, then there is something to learn. Take the opportunity to teach your child that life is full of opportunities: get into the habit of looking for photos, additional information, a song or a work related to a subject… A great way to teach your child to search for himself.
What do you want to do this weekend?
A study published in the journal Science in 2010 shows that the anticipation of positive experiences brings more happiness than the experiences themselves. Once your child is old enough to understand that tomorrow is not today, start instilling in him the habit of positively anticipating small pleasures, whether it is a dessert, an activity, a visit from a friend. person…
What can you do to help/make someone happy?
Taking your child to visit an elderly relative, a friend who needs help, or even to a volunteer event is a wonderful gift you can give them. “Your child will be even more proud of his behavior if he gets into the habit of thinking about the good things he can do himself.” evokes the psychologist. Notably, research from the University of California, Berkeley, shows that giving even releases oxytocin and endorphins, making your child feel euphoric. Furthermore, involving your children in charitable activity instills in them altruism which is also directly linked to happiness and gives them a spirit of generosity.
What do you want to do outside today?
Getting outside and engaging in physical activities with your child is the best way to teach them not to sit behind a screen. Studies show that exercise releases endorphins. Sunlight can also help improve mood and regulate circadian rhythms, which means better sleep for your children, which makes everyone happier. In short, so many reasons to ask him out.
When do you feel happiest?
“If you focus your children’s attention on the experiences they enjoy most, they will begin to understand that they can proactively choose to increase the time they spend on activities that make them feel feel better about themselves”, insists the psychologist. So, if your child is lucky enough to have found an activity that gives him a feeling of fullness, it is useful to point this out to him and give him enough time to reach this state.
Slide: 10 tips for cultivating family happiness