Are you no longer able to communicate with your partner? Here are 7 strong actions that can save your relationship

in collaboration with

Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical psychologist)

Professional stress, lack of common projects, family tensions, differences over fundamental life choices… There is no shortage of potential sources of conflict within the couple. But when frustrations accumulate and make dialogue impossible, how can you save your relationship? We asked Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, the question.

“Small” problems that can harm the relationship in the long term

All couples experience periods of disagreement at some point. Far from being a sign of weakness, arguments often reflect differences in perception or expectations.

Tensions are also a way of making yourself heard, by reaffirming your needs and trying to find common ground. However, what makes the difference between a strong couple and a struggling one is how these arguments are handled. When dialogue breaks down, and communication becomes impossible… it is (high) time to react.

Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist, confirms this to us: decisive actions must be taken to transform conflicts into opportunities for dialogue. Here are 7 initiatives to adopt to save your relationship.

Couple in crisis: 7 strong actions to consider

According to the expert, several decisive actions make it possible to restore dialogue, trust and complicity.

• Be able to break the silence intelligently. “It is not necessarily a question of speaking for the sake of speaking, but of taking a first step towards the other already… Sometimes, a simple sentence like: “I want to understand what is happening” allows you to open a space where things can be said, even a little, even in the form of an argument if necessary, but to be said… The important thing is to break the ice which will only harden more and more if we don’t Nothing !“, warns Amélie Boukhobza.
• Take a break to come back better. “Sometimes, too, the tension is such that a break is inevitable. Giving yourself time to step back will allow you to regain clarity and reduce the escalation of conflicts. Be careful, this does not mean running away, but choosing to return to the relationship with a more peaceful and above all constructive state of mind.“, indicates the practitioner.
• Reconnect through an unexpected act. “An unexpected gesture can disrupt a blocked dynamic. Offer a gift, suggest an activity that the other person likes, without trying to directly solve the problem, just to recreate moments of lightness, together. It will bring back a little pleasure and carefreeness where tensions reign…“, reveals the specialist.
• Review your expectations. “There are often unrealistic expectations. Perhaps we need to ask ourselves again: what is really fundamental for me, for us? What’s wrong with me in the relationship? Was it there at the start of the relationship or did it come later? What am I willing to let go of so that we can find common ground? The idea being to open up a space for compromise if it is possible obviously…“, suggests the psychologist.
• Take responsibility for your part. “The trap of relationships in crisis is falling into the blame game: everyone remains stuck to their positions, and the other is always at fault. So coming back to yourself and assuming your share of responsibility, even minimal, is an act that can often reverse the dynamic. Not to carry everything on one’s shoulders, but to recognize that one can also, through one’s words or one’s silence, be a contributor to the rupture.”recalls the expert.
• Create something new. “Why not invent a ritual, to reinvent intimacy a little. A weekly meeting where we put screens aside? A cinema session? A dinner? A theater? It doesn’t matter just a bubble for the couple to breathe and find themselves, even in the middle of daily chaos“, she explains.
• Ask for outside help. “Finally, when we are at an impasse, an outside perspective can help. Whether it’s a therapist, a mediator or even a caring couple, seeking help is a powerful act. It’s a sign that you care enough about the relationship to not let pride dictate the future.“, concludes Amélie Boukhobza.

Slide: 8 behaviors that make an argument worse