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Some people hate being alone. That’s why they start a new relationship shortly after a breakup. The risk? That it’s a “band-aid” relationship, which only serves to forget your ex. How to avoid this? Here’s advice from a psychologist.
Are you familiar with the term “band-aid” relationship? As the name suggests, it is a relationship that is started after a breakup, as if to heal the wounds caused by this situation. These relationships are therefore started for the wrong reasons and it can be difficult to envisage something lasting, starting on the wrong foundations.
Grieving the loss of a relationship: an important step
In an article for Psychology Todaypsychologist Randi Gunther takes an interest in the subject and gives her advice on how to avoid this pitfall.Expecting a new partner to be able to salvage and heal the past they had no part in places an unbearable burden on them, healing from past failure is the sole responsibility of the person who suffered it, and preferably before they seek a relationship. new relationship” explains the expert.
To do this, she recommends taking stock of your romantic failure(s), and understanding the repetitive patterns that lead to the end of the relationship. And to grieve well, the psychologist reminds us of the importance of being well surrounded, in order to obtain support. And emphasizes that if this moment is too difficult, the help of a professional can be useful and necessary.
Once the mourning is over, it is time to open up to a new love story. And for that, the psychologist reveals three tips to apply from the beginning of this new relationship.
- For Randi Gunther, it is important to present her situation to her new partner, without shame or guilt;
- For the expert, the second important point is to be honest about your goals, so that your new conquest knows what you want, but also what you no longer want;
- Finally, be honest about what you have to offer: to do this, the psychologist recommends listening to the other person’s needs and telling them if their expectations do not match yours.
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