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Amélie Boukhobza (Clinical Psychologist)
Don’t let routine weaken your relationship. Here are all the good reflexes to adopt to rekindle the flame and maintain the bond. Psychologist Amélie Boukhobza comes to your rescue.
Planning a romantic dinner, preparing a surprise for your partner, writing a sweet note… In everyday life, many small gestures can help rekindle the flame. But which ones really work? The answer from Amélie Boukhobza, clinical psychologist.
Making your relationship last: a daily job
Because of routine, fatigue or even the stress of going back to school: many of us put our relationships aside to ensure the smooth running of our daily schedule.
The problem? While this lack of attention towards one’s partner is often temporary, it is rarely without consequences. The other person may feel neglected, misunderstood, unsupported… and the quality of the exchanges can quickly plummet. This is why it is crucial to work on your relationship by making small efforts every day.
“Maintaining the bond in a couple requires attention, but it is not an impossible mission, far from it.“, confides Amélie Boukhobza.”Sometimes all it takes is small gestures, simple moments which, taken together, create this everyday alchemy.”
“Good reflexes” that you just need to integrate and use at certain key moments.
Communicate
The first piece of advice from our expert psychologist? Co-mmu-ni-cate.
“One of the first elements, often overlooked, is talking to each other,” “emphasizes Amélie Boukhobza.”It is not enough here to ask “how was your day?”, but rather to really take the time to listen to the other, without judgment, without interruption. You have to sit down, look each other in the eye and talk about what really matters: your emotions, your desires, your fears… An exchange that creates a privacy goes far beyond words”, she reveals.
Create the surprise
Then, one of the other secrets to strengthening the love bond would be to surprise each other.
“Which doesn’t mean planning extravagant getaways or giving expensive gifts.“, warns the expert, who recommends instead using spontaneity “so that the magic works”: “An impromptu dinner, an unexpected message during the day, or even small attentions that show the other that we are thinking of them, that we care about their needs. These surprises keep the spark alive, create rhythm in the couple and show that we do not take the other for granted”, she recalls.
Share activities together
Another essential reflex when sharing the same roof: sharing activities together.
“But not just any !” the psychologist says.It is important to find times to rediscover shared passions, or even to create new ones. Whether it is a sport, a project, a series or even a hobby, cooking, making pottery… the main thing is to make regular appointments for these shared moments”, she recommends.The goal is not just to spend time together, but to strengthen this complicityto learn and have fun together.”
Give affection
Finally, we do not forget the importance of physical contact.
“A tender gesture, a kiss stolen, a hand in his is sometimes enough to revive this invisible bond between two people. Touch reminds everyone of the proximity, the anchoring in the relationship”, indicates the practitioner.
“In short, to maintain this bond in the couple, nothing very complicated. Communication, little surprises, activities together and physical contact. No “miracle recipe”, but simple ingredients which, day after day, strengthen love and complicity.“, concludes Amélie Boukhobza.
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