Published on
updated on
Reading 2 min.
Promises of love under the setting sun don’t always survive the reality once you get home. What to do and how to react when it happens to you? A couples therapist shares her perspective on things.
Will the crazy love that smells of warm sand survive the return to school, work schedules, and distance? It’s hard to say. While 56% of young adults aged 18 to 34 have already experienced a summer romance according to a study for the site Bumble, stories that last beyond the return are a little rarer (but not non-existent either).
For the dating site, Dr. Aurore Malet-Karas, an expert in couples therapy and sexuality, shared her advice for enjoying this summer connection, whether it is destined to last or to be just a nice memory.
Making your summer meeting last: a question of finding balance
Ideally, if you hope to make your relationship last after returning, the therapist indicates 3 essentials:
- Knowing your crush’s love status : “Ideally, it’s important to know your summer fling’s relationship status early on in your relationship. Are they already in a ‘situationship‘(no strings attached relationship) at home, or are they looking for something more serious?”
- Getting candid about the post-vacation relationship : “Before you focus too much on the other person, ask yourself what you want first. Are you ready to commit more to this adventure after the holidays? Can you consider a long-distance relationship?” This does not promise that it will last, but it does allow you to start on a healthy basis.
- Preparing for a Long Distance Relationship : If this summer adventure seems like something more, you’ll need to invest a little more.”Schedule a weekly video call (minimum) to spend face-to-face time, and try to commit to visiting each other regularly,” advises the expert.
What if things eventually dissipate?
Unfortunately, reality is sometimes fatal to holiday love. And promises made under the sun become bland when we return to school. Should we regret it, or fight to make the experience last? For Aurore Malet-Karas, it is better to try to take the situation with hindsight, even philosophy:
- Appreciate your flirt for who he/she was : No matter how long a relationship lasts, a breakup is still a breakup, so don’t judge yourself for your emotions or the time it takes you to get better. But take a step back and just appreciate the good time you had with this person. “It’s sad when good things come to an end, but the reason holiday romances are so exhilarating is because of the temporary escape they provide.”
- Accept the return to reality: “You’re back in your usual daily routine, and that’s when the post-holiday romance blues can set in. Find joy in being back in your usual surroundings rather than wishing you were still on vacation.” Coming home also means reuniting with friends and family after these weeks away from them.If melancholy sets in, remember that the comfort of familiarity is a powerful force. Don’t hesitate to reach out to them for support.”
- Plan an upcoming trip : “Plan your next adventure abroad to take your mind off things. You might want to focus on yourself on your next vacation.” And if you are tempted to reproduce the experience, know that the applications now have a travel mode, to meet other singles, even abroad.
Slideshow: Keys to Getting Over a Breakup