“Yes”, “no”, “it was good”… To really know how your child’s day went, here are the right questions to ask after school, according to psychologists.
Parents who have dropped off their child on the first day of school can’t wait to know how their first day at school went. Did they make any friends? Was the teacher nice? What did they do at recess, did they eat well in the canteen, etc.? So many questions that only our child has the answer to. So, when we go to pick them up from school and ask them: ““How was your day at school?“We are sometimes frustrated by not getting more details than: “It went well”, “yes” or “it was good”. And for good reason: the question is too broad. Some children even tend to roll their eyes, these questions seem to bore them.”Most adults want to unplug after work and leave their day behind – kids are the same way” “child psychologist Dr. Martha Deiros Collado tells CNBC.”Their minds need a break and often their main focus is on food, fun, play and rest” she adds.
So how do you encourage your child to tell you about their day after school? According to one expert, it’s essential to start with emotions by showing your joy at seeing them again after a long day. Pay close attention to whether they’re smiling or whether they seem rather withdrawn. Depending on their attitude, you’ll be able to better understand what they’ve experienced: “You look so happy! Something funny must have happened today,” or on the contrary, “You look upset, do you want to tell me what’s bothering you?” These targeted questions can encourage him to open up more. But that’s not all.
“Timing is also essential“According to Dr. Linda Papadopoulos, another psychologist, during the school year, it is advisable to wait for a quiet moment before asking questions, rather than doing so as soon as the child leaves school or gets into the car. “Bedtime is nice, kids are more relaxed. Sometimes the need to relax before bed is a great opportunity to talk, especially if you’re lying next to them” she recommends. For younger children, initiating the discussion during a manual activity such as modeling clay, coloring or a puzzle can be ideal.
After-school questions might include: “What made you laugh today?”; “What was your favorite thing to do today?”; “What did you like best about recess? What about lunch?”; “Did you feel sad today? What helped you feel better?”; “What games did you like playing at recess?”; “What new things did you learn in class?”; “What did you play with your friends?” “If you had to draw a picture of your day, what would you put on the sheet?”
Another tip is to share your own day with him, telling some funny anecdotes. This will probably encourage him to do the same.Talk about something real, something that made you laugh, that surprised you, that reminded you of him, someone you talked to, what you had for lunch, how you felt today… Sharing your day increases the chances that your child will want to… share their day” explains Dr. Deiros Collado.