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Making a request in order to obtain something is not always easy. Here is the best way to go about it, without appearing too firm or on the contrary too timid.
In an article published in the media PsychologyTodaypsychologist Shannon Sauer-Zavala explains what the “Goldilocks” method is for formulating a balanced request. That is, one that reflects our needs and our limits, while creating an emotional connection with the other.
The Goldilocks Method: What Pillars Does It Rest On?
Inspired by the famous tale “Goldilocks”, the method aims to find the balance between two extremes in human relationships, and more particularly at the moment when we feel the need to make a request. It is then a question of learning to ask for what we need without aggression or passivity.
Feeling good in your body, feeling good in your head!
Making a request: prepare in 5 steps
For communication to be effective, it is important to be prepared for it. Therefore, putting things in writing by following the steps below can greatly help you get what you want:
1. Prepare the ground: Start by introducing the topic appropriately.
2. Express your emotions: Share how you feel to create an emotional connection.
3. Ask directly for what you need: Be clear and specific in your request.
4. Reward in advance: Indicate the benefits to the other person.
5. Compromise if necessary: Be prepared to find common ground.
Mastering this method requires practice. By practicing formulating your requests by asserting your needs and limitations, you increase your chances of getting what you want. However, remember that it is not always possible to get what you want. This should not stop us from trying!