Liam Pokorny didn’t go to school for four years – then it turned around

In Sweden, it is estimated that there are tens of thousands of young people who are absent from school a lot, what we often call “home sitters”. A big problem for both the young person and the parents, but of course also for society as a whole.

Liam Pokorny is today 18 years old and has graduated. But the road there was long and winding. Already in middle school he started staying home from school from time to time and from the fifth grade he didn’t go there at all.

– I had difficulty concentrating in the classroom and then it became easy for me to disturb. I was scolded by the teachers and after that I lost my confidence. I didn’t feel good enough and stayed home with anxiety.

Sat at home for four years

Liam Pokorny says his mother pulled the heavy load.

– She was the one who got me going in the morning. It was anxiety, worry and a lump in my stomach in the morning. But in the end it became too big a task for her too.

Liam Pokorny became a home sitter for a total of four years. What made it turn around was that he had a clear goal of graduating. The mother found help in the form of a home-sitter team that made a plan how he would solve things at school, both theoretically and socially. And finally he fulfilled his dream.

– It was magical, it was really fun. It was exactly as I had imagined: The spring, the flat, the reception – everything was ten out of ten. It was worth all the fighting and toil to get there in the end, he says in Nyhetsmorgon.

So parents can help

Psychologist Peter Friberg has worked with many home sitters and recognizes Liam’s story.

– The feeling of shame and guilt is very common when you fail at something you should be able to do. You might think why I can’t do this. You also really want to be able to do it. Self-esteem is destroyed very quickly, you become stressed and full of anxiety. There are often negative spirals, people think that there is something wrong with me.

His advice to parents is to be patient and get help.

– It’s a bit of a marathon, it doesn’t turn around in a day. Seek help. Social services can sometimes help, or child and youth psychiatry. There may be a school social team at the school, or a home sitter team in the municipality. There are other support groups. It can be extremely nice to be able to share experiences with others who have gone through the same thing.