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Being emotionally stable and knowing how to manage our reactions can play a big role in our own well-being. But we are not always able to do it. The good news is that this ability can be worked on. Here are 3 ways to improve our emotional intelligence, according to a psychologist.
Have you ever reacted to a situation in a way that you later regretted? Or responded harshly to a message and felt ashamed of it? If so, you are not alone: our emotions can sometimes get the best of us. But this lack of emotional intelligence and control, even temporary, can harm our relationships, both professional and personal. This is why, in the media Psychology Todaypsychologist and author Emma Seppälä, offers three tools to better manage your emotional intelligence on a daily basis in just a few minutes.
Produce micro-moments of “elevation” in everyday life
Have you ever noticed how some people leave you feeling drained – the so-called “energy vampires” – while others leave you feeling energized and positive? It’s not just a feeling.
Research on relational interactions shows that people who know how to create these moments not only improve the well-being and vitality of others, but improve their own sense of well-being. So the first thing to do is to become a positive energizer yourself.This doesn’t mean forcing cheerfulness or putting on a fake smile, but establishing a genuine connection with people through humility,empathycompassion, honesty, integrity… ” explains the psychologist.
A genuine compliment, a shared laugh, a kind word or even a simple smile can make a big difference in uplifting others and yourself every day.
Relearn How to Breathe to Reduce Stress in Minutes
Feeling overwhelmed or stressed? But how do you go from a high stress level (like a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10) to a much calmer level (like a 2)? According to the expert’s research, the most effective way is through breathing.By changing the ratio of your inhales and exhales, you can significantly reduce your stress levels in just minutes.” she emphasizes.
The key? Lengthen your exhalations. When you inhale, your heart rate speeds up, but when you exhale, it slows down. To practice, close your eyes and inhale for a count of four, then exhale for a count of eight. Repeat this for at least two to five minutes.
According to the expert, this practice activates your parasympathetic nervous system, helping your body relax and counteract the “fight or flight” response.
Self-awareness is crucial to managing our reactions and improving our relationships.”It’s about listening to what’s going on in our minds and bodies, taking a moment to reflect and ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” Again, how do we do this?“. The psychologist suggests a quick exercise and 4 steps:
- Make yourself comfortable and focus inward. Sit down, close your eyes and breathe deeply;
- Scan your body. On a scale from very tired to very energetic, how are you today? Where are your areas of tension?
- Evaluate your thought traffic. If your mind were a traffic jam, what would the traffic level be? A busy highway or a quiet country road?
- Acknowledge your emotions. Are your emotions pleasant or unpleasant? How intense are they?
This exercise helps you quickly assess your internal state and stress level. And to know if you are in a good time or not to make a decision or have an important conversation. Or if it is better to postpone it until later.
Feeling good in your body, feeling good in your head!
Meditation as a bonus
Finally, while Emma Seppälä acknowledges that incorporating these techniques into our daily routines is a good thing, she advises adding the practice of meditation if possible.Regular meditation has been shown to improve areas of the brain related to self-control, self-awareness, and emotional regulation. Meditation creates more space between your thoughts and emotions, allowing you to respond more thoughtfully rather than reacting impulsively.
By following these three tips while integrating the practice of meditation if possible, you ensure that you become a balanced and more empathetic person. A good point for you as well as for others.
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