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Some people would do anything to not be single. But they do not necessarily realize their behavior, nor the fact that they force certain relationships, while their partner does not suit them. What are the signs that show this? Here are three, according to an American psychologist.
If you know the series Desperate Housewives, you probably remember the episode where Eddie Britt counts the days Susan Mayer has been single. It actually shows that Susan is afraid of being single for too long and gets into relationships to avoid that.
In life, in fact, some people get into relationships, without their partner really being a good match for them. To find out if this is your case, here are three questions to ask yourself, according to Mark Travers, an American psychologist.
Do you feel like you are being yourself in your relationship?
When you’re in a relationship with the right person, you can truly be yourself. There’s no need to change your opinions, values, or way of being to please the other person: he or she loves you as you are. If that’s not the case, you need to question your relationship.When you are constantly trying to fit in with other people’s expectations, you neglect your own wants and needs, which can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction and a loss of identity.” estimates the expert.
Do you need to be with someone constantly to feel good?
Do you have hobbies or activities that you do alone, outside of your relationship? Or on the contrary, do you need to spend every minute of your free time with your other half? If you opt for the second solution, you may be afraid of loneliness.While spending quality time with your partner is healthy and desirable for the growth of the relationship, expecting your partner to spend all of their free time with you may mean that your relationship is driven by fear of losing your partner.” adds Mark Travers.
Are you easily jealous?
Jealousy, in small doses, can be healthy for a couple. On the other hand, it becomes toxic when it guides your behavior and pushes you to control your partner. It actually reflects your fear of losing the other as well as a lack of self-confidence.Insecurities, in a more general sense, can cause us to become paranoid about losing our partner. They can fuel toxicity that can cause a relationship to break up.” estimates the expert.
In short, rushing towards the first partner you meet so as not to be alone is certainly not the right thing to do in love. On the contrary, it is better to wait until you know the other person well enough and feel that they are right for you, to start a relationship “at the right time” recommends Mark Travers. This way, you will know that you are in a relationship for good reasons and not out of fear of ending up alone.
Slideshow: 8 questions to ask your partner (and yourself) for a lasting relationship