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To build a lasting romantic relationship, passion is not enough. To maintain your relationship, it is necessary to make constant efforts. Especially when the first emotions fade and everyday life takes over. Here are the essential factors to take into account, which will make your relationship last according to a psychologist.
What are the ingredients for maintaining a healthy, stable and satisfying relationship with your partner? Mark Travers, an American psychologist with degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado at Boulder, asked himself the question on Psychology Today and here are the four essential factors in his eyes.
Long-lasting relationships aren’t always equal
You might think that in order to have the most stable relationship possible, both parties need to be on an equal footing. This is not true. For Mark Travers, “Equality in a romantic relationship does not mean that both partners are always on equal footing; rather, it is about maintaining a dynamic balance. When one partner hesitates, the other steps in to provide support. Compromise and sacrifice are essential components of any resilient relationship.”.
The important thing is therefore to find fair solutions, ensuring that both partners feel understood and valued.
Lasting relationships require mutual trust
Trust is one of the cornerstones of a healthy and peaceful relationship.This ensures that no significant issues are hidden, which builds trust and keeps the relationship honest and resilient.” supports the psychologist.”Sometimes people who are committed to the long term give up a job to have a child or move to follow a spouse, who is evolving in his career. That’s OK, but it’s crucial to be honest with yourself about what really matters to you.”. At this point, express your needs clearly, but always with respect and open-mindedness.
Lasting relationships are made of individual identities
There is a common misconception that in order to have a lasting relationship, your partner must “complete you.” That’s not true, according to Mark Travers.When people are independent, they stay together because they really want to, not because they fear loneliness or are financially insecure, for example.”According to the expert, flourishing individually subsequently allows one to flourish in one’s relationship.
Lasting relationships are conflict-resistant
Couples often argue about trivial things. But rather than trying to win an argument, a lasting relationship focuses on resolving the conflict. And to resolve it, it is better to avoid negative behaviors, “such as resorting to criticism or verbal aggression,” the expert reminds us.Or even ignoring your partner, by not speaking to them anymore. This only exacerbates tensions and damages the relationship.” adds Mark Travers.
On the contrary, it encourages “dialogue, valuing mutual openness and considering all possibilities to ease tensions“. Before concluding : “By viewing challenges as opportunities for deeper connection, couples can grow together and build a foundation that stands the test of time.”
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