By becoming a mother, Marlène made a rather surprising decision for herself and her family. A choice she fully assumed…
After the birth of a child, most mothers, including some fathers, tend to put themselves aside, to forget themselves a little to devote themselves fully to their baby. Sometimes, months go by without the parent having taken a moment just for themselves, to do what they like. For example, having a coffee on a terrace, going to the hairdresser, a bookstore or the cinema. Ultimately, it is as if, by starting a family, one of the two parents had to put their personal life on hold. For Marlène, from the blog @lagirafequivole, this prospect was not really conceivable.
When she became a mother herself and had to go back to work, she needed to free up time outside of the family routine. “I just wanted to take some time for myself”she tells us. The solution for her: reconnect with her passion for travel, which is at the heart of her job since she works for herself in the tourism sector. So in 2017, four years after the birth of her first daughter, she allowed herself to travel alone again, without a partner or children. “I didn’t ask myself many questions, it was almost normal to say to myself ‘I’m going to travel without my children’. However, when I had to wipe away a few tears, I sometimes felt a little guilty, wondering if I was right to do that or not. And then quite quickly, during my travels, I got into my own bubble and I started to enjoy myself and think about myself,” she explains to us.
Since then, she has organized a trip for herself once a year, lasting 4 or 5 days, in France or abroad, but never more than ten days. “My solo trips allow me to recharge my batteries and really lead me to have a lighter mental load. I don’t have to think about shopping, school trips, all the logistics that you can have as a mother. I unload a little of that onto my partner. And in the end, it’s quite guilt-free in the sense that the other parent, in my opinion, takes care of the children in their own way. They take their place,” Marlene explains to us.
For his daughters, it also has advantages. “They like to see me again. We spend quality time together, I tell them about my adventures, I show them my photos. My eldest even said to me when I got back ‘oh, you look good, mum'”, she says. A life choice that would not have been possible without the support of the father of her two daughters, Marlène emphasizes. “Without my partner’s flexibility, without his understanding, I know I wouldn’t be able to leave. Paradoxically, you still need to be a couple to get started. You need this ‘agreement’ from your partner to leave with peace of mind and without guilt,” she adds. After all these years, Marlene’s motto remains the same: “leave to come back better” ! She also recommends it to all parents, even single mothers, just for a day or a weekend.